I'm not sure if you are still looking for responses. Honestly I didn't read everyones responses. I'm a submissive not a Dom but here is somethings from a subs point of view...

I have a full-time professional job and as you mentioned, my Dom doesn't control me at work. At work I'm definitly NOT sub at all! But when I walk through the door at home I know that everything has changed. Part of being a sub involves a lot of mental things. Your sub needs to look at submitting at home as a break. If something doesn't workout it's basically the dom's fault b/c it was all up to him... I love knowing when I get home and he makes it in that I can mentally relax. That needs to be her key. It's also a matter of catering to the Dom. As a woman it's our job anyhow to take care of our man. So as a sub it's easier b/c he says this is what he wants...

As I said. The key needs to be it's less stress on her. Youre making the decisions. The stress is now on you. If she is stressed from work and you know it... Make her stand in front of you in front of a mirror. Massage her shoulders and neck some. She is submitting by standing where and how you say but she is getting the pleasure and relaxation of the massage... And these goods are related to the submitting My Dom uses it sometimes and I love it.

I think submitting is really a state of mind thing.