Quick-coming problems? Selfish? Repressed?

[tadri]

Fetishdj: Thanks for posting. I am a sub, though not to any extreme. Most of your assumptions are perfectly correct, and thank you for the suggestion of my allure. I know I am pandering to his needs more, and I don't usually mind, but this is too often. In regards to cunnilingus, he does try to see to my needs, he really, really likes going down on me. The problem with that is, he seems to think that just because I get a clitoral orgasm right at the beginning of fooling around, that his job is done. Everything else is for his enjoyment, I may as well not be there.
The other problem is that going down on me really turns him on, so if we have a really hot few minutes with him down there, he's likely to go off like a rocket as soon as we start having sex. If we skip the foreplay so he isn't too primed,( and will hopefully last a ltitle longer) then I'm not really primed at all.
For me there's a huge difference between clitoral and vaginal orgasms. I like both, obviously, but a real, honest-to-goodness orgasm duringb intercourse is a pretty satisfying thing, and not something that happens very often anymore. Also, as people have said here and on other hreads I've been reading, women's orgasms get better after the first one or two. This is very true, but in a year and a half he's only bothered getting me there a few times. I try to be obedient and cooperative, we have sex when he wants it, whether I'm in the mood or not. Which is fine, I am very attracted to him, and if I let myself be open to it, I usually get in the mood fairly quickly. But I'm getting desperate and have been asking for us to try do something, anything, in the bedroom, which has resulted in one quickie in the last few weeks. It's like everytime I try to do anything about this is gets worse, but I know that ignoring it doesn't work either.
As to him being a young, horny, male, he isn't that young (46), which I would have thought would make his orgasm harder to reach, not easier.

As far as what twisted tails said, I don't think he'd be comfortable with a cock ring, and maintaining an erection isn't anything of a problem. He usually gets rock hard as soon as he even thinks of doing anything, and stays super hard until he comes. He just doesn't seem to have, or want, any kind of control over his orgasm. This could very well be due to anxiety, especially now anxiety over PE, but it's been months!
I personally think he may enjoy sex more if he tries to hold off on his orgasm a little and let it build, even if only for a few minutes, but he either doesn't believe me, doesn't care, or is incapable of not coming right away.
It's not in my nature to be bossy about this stuff, but I need sex, dammit! and I'm getting the feeling that because he's gotten me so aroused, and so horny, so many times in the last six months, and almost never letting me come (he even refuses to finish me off after sex when he knows I haven't had an orgasm and he has ...) that I have much more difficulty orgasming at all, as though I've been conditioned to not come, or my body can't get there. I know I now have anxiety problems myself whenever we try to have sex, because I'm terrified that he'll come right away and leave me hanging, something that is now deeply physically uncomfortable for me for quite some time after every incomplete sack-session.

Leah06: He can't use condoms... if he even looks at a condom that lovely huge hard erection I was just bragging about will evaporate, for quite some time. That's something I've tried suggesting to him, but I guess he finds them physically uncomfortable, although I would appreciate him trying, for my sake. I'm going crazy.