Um, since when did it start to be okay to harrass someone by habitually stalking them on their way out the door? Sorry, but I find parts of this convo a little repulsive. Maybe it's just me, maybe I am ridiculously over-sensitive, who knows. But if I were you, PF, I would take fetishdj's advice: go on into the local police station, and ask for some resources on how to handle Mr. Creepy.

In the meantime. Some helpful hints:

1. Carry a method of self-defense with you, in your hand, when you walk out the door in the morning. I am not saying Mace or Pepper Spray or anything of that nature. But a key works--hold it so that if he gets too close or attacks you in any way physically, you stab him with it. Trust me, a key hurts, esp. aimed in the right spot.

2. I would look into some local classes at a self-defense place. I have a second-degree black belt, and I'll tell you what: I certainly feel safer walking by myself. I take EVERY precaution I can, but still, the urban universe is the urban universe. Arm yourself as much as possible with knowledge. I can take down an attacker in many different ways, and it's comforting to know that I have those skills & that knowledge: it doesn't need to look pretty, it just needs to be effective.

3. Let Mr. Sunshine know in no uncertain terms "NO." Sometimes I think we, as women, aren't necessarily clear in the way we communicate. So if you see Mr. Sunshine again, you simply look him in the eyes, say "No. Leave me alone. If you continue to harass me, I will contact the police."

4. If Mr. Sunshine continues, take a pic of him w/your camera phone. No joke. Stupid, no? You'd be surprised at what people can do with a picture... and how scared they are to have themselves on camera.


Look. You have EVERY right to walk out your door w/o feeling uncomfortable. It isn't about what Mr. Sunshine's subjective intent is. It's about what the objective result of his expressed commentary is doing to you. You don't have to put up with it, and there is no reason to do so. Take some affirmative action to end it.

I also want to comment on this idea of "paranoia": most people are not generally paranoid... they're ordinary, prudent, reasonable people. When a situation occurs that makes you shiver, or makes the hair stand up on the back of your neck, that's enough to set off the buzzers in your head. It isn't paranoia: it's the voice that you HAVE to listen to. Otherwise, you get yourself into REALLY bad situations. And, if it *is* paranoia that someone is experiencing, what could be the absolute worst thing that happens? They simply over-react a bit and are overly cautious? MUCH better than the alternative, no?? Just saying.

It's easy to look at a situation you aren't in & say, "that's insane." But when you are the one in the situation, it is anything but insane--it's very much reality.