i think that may be the hardest thing for me is not being able to talk to my friends about it. im very lucky to have found this site. Everyone here has been very understanding. My name is kitty. I'm under kittysub. So whenever you need to talk or vent or tall about a great session you've had, i am here to listen. We slaves/subs have to stick together. Ha ha. Good luck to you and I agree with your statement that since my husband and I, of 10 years, decided only very recently to commit to a Master/slave relationship, I am the happiest I could ever imagine to be. So hang in there girl.