The difference between being in control and not having any. Nice!!

It's really up to her in the dominant role to teach you that control. Until you can, I guess you'll have to suffer the humiliation of being of little use to her.

She'll have to get a dildo or vibe and teach you how to pleasure her with it instead. Perhaps a strap-on (with a chastity restraint) with which you can service her. And finally a strap-on for her, to teach you to receive... and receive... and receive... until you can do so without coming.