Lucy: The fact that a lot of subs, male and female, might ignore the advice in no way means the advice itself is bad, if it helps even a few fledgling subs avoid getting hurt it was worth the posting. It must never be forgotten that we are all individuals and that there is no one, single "correct" way to play, without open and honest two way communication, which is what the flags you cite would tend to eliminate, there is no way for a sub to ensure there own needs are met which will usually end the relationship anyway.