Feed back for this story, please

[Venom]

I understand your "bitchiness" about brackets. Here, they are used to indicate thoughts during a passage, as an element of structure. I, too, like the separate lines more, but see the necessity to use alternatives at some points.

"Why that many brackets? If you put something in brackets you more or less imply to me that it isn't really important [...]"

Smart-arse mode on: Of course it is important, else I would not have written it. Smart-arse mode off

P.S.: What do you edit in German -- stories for the free part of the Library? If so, a lot more writers should learn to fear you, for their stories are in some kind of language that has not much in common with German anymore.