•Has no BDSM references or friends you can talk to. Gets angry when you ask for references or ask around about them.
•Criticizes the BDSM community and refuses to participate, especially if they never were part of it.
•Has bad relationships with most or all of their family members.

Guess everyone should just red flag me then. I don't belong to the "community" nor do I have any desire to do so. I also don't feel a need to go around asking others about someone. It's not a relationship by committee.
And if you knew my family, you'd had bad or no relationship with them either. Not everyone came from the Cleaver family.