Advice to a submissive on proper attitude and thinking.

[Ozme52]

I don't use a safe word. I trust my Master to know what i can handle and what i can't. He knows me and my limits and i trust him completely. Even before i was His slave, i never used the safe word. i couldn't bring myself to use it, it felt like i was betraying the trust i had for Him. W/we have friends that use safe words, they use words that would never come up during anything sexual such as "Montana" or "Hippo". It works for them, but not for U/us

The same conversations repeat themselves over and over again... as do the same pros and cons and reasoning. But I never hear anyone espouse my particular perspective (and I've said it many times.)

ks, consider this. You serve your master but never provide him with an outlet to just let himself go? He always has to read you and carefully tread that fine line that marks your day-to-day level of comfort? Why not gift him with a safeword you will use if he goes beyond your capacity to absorb... and let him freely use you without having to monitor you or himself. Let him revel in a release of his restraints and go explore his own limits as he uses you, with the knowledge that YOU will monitor yourself so that he can go farther than he might otherwise go.

Trust me. He's holding back. Perhaps not having a safeword and promising to use it is in fact, imo, selfish of the submisive or slave. Perhaps not having a safeword is an insidious way to maintain a level of control because it stops ones master from doing what s/he perhaps wishes to do.

Consider it a "present" to him. Like a birthday certificate. "My gift to you. A safeword that will allow you to use me without regard so that you can be all you wish to be today." Maybe you'll find it even more enjoyable than you expect. Maybe you'll find you can take more than you thought for him.

My girl has often said, "I was about to use my safeword and I thought... "wait just a moment longer" and that was when the endorphins really hit me and it got even better".

Better and much more satisfying for both of us.

[thir]

ks, consider this. You serve your master but never provide him with an outlet to just let himself go? He always has to read you and carefully tread that fine line that marks your day-to-day level of comfort? Why not gift him with a safeword you will use if he goes beyond your capacity to absorb... and let him freely use you without having to monitor you or himself. Let him revel in a release of his restraints and go explore his own limits as he uses you, with the knowledge that YOU will monitor yourself so that he can go farther than he might otherwise go.

You have a good point there, Ozme.

People say: I don't want a safeword, it is all about trust, and I trust my dom.

Provocative comment comming up: I have experienced a number of subs who really meant : "I leave it to you to figure out what I can handle, it's easier and more exciting that way, because I can feel like a real slave with no bounderies. Of course, if you get my reactions wrong, it is all your fault and you are a Bad dom."

Result, as Ozme says, is sometimes that the dom becomes a service instrument for the sub!

Now, obviously a lot of people who say they do not want a safe word are Not like this. But I agree with Ozme that if the dom wants a safeword, then that's how it is going to be!

[hippie child]

You have a good point there, Ozme.

People say: I don't want a safeword, it is all about trust, and I trust my dom.

Provocative comment comming up: I have experienced a number of subs who really meant : "I leave it to you to figure out what I can handle, it's easier and more exciting that way, because I can feel like a real slave with no bounderies. Of course, if you get my reactions wrong, it is all your fault and you are a Bad dom."

Result, as Ozme says, is sometimes that the dom becomes a service instrument for the sub!

Now, obviously a lot of people who say they do not want a safe word are Not like this. But I agree with Ozme that if the dom wants a safeword, then that's how it is going to be!

I agree with this whole heartedly.

When establishing perameters a safe word is of vital importance. It shows a level of true of servitude and communication that would other wise be lacking.
When you leave an unestablished limit, you are in fact not fully giving in to servitued in that you're playing a guessing game with your D. If you're playing, then it's not a true commitment to them.
Also, I don't feel you're being true to yourself as a submissive by not agreeing to this level of committment, in that you are not truly looking at your own real self and taking responsibility for yourself.
Both parties have responsibilities to each other and to themselves, and those responsibilities are of equal importance.

Again, this is just my own opinion.