Quote Originally Posted by thir View Post
A question: Do you mean by this that bottoming is always done is casual relationships, and not on ongoing ones? If so, why?

To me, this description reads to me like people I have met who are only into bondage, or only into pain, or only into both, but with no submission at all. Some can takes turns helping each other just fine, and some prefer a relationship. They are very rare indeed!

But it seems to be that the terms bottoming and topping indicates some sort of giving over control, which is why I personally find these two labels so hard to make use of.
No, I wasn't implying it was only in casual relationships. I think, within my definiton, a lot of "in the bedroom only" bdsm between long term couples is also topping and bottoming. And you're right, vis-a-vis your second statement, because not all bdsm is D/s. I think you're also agreeing with me, (or I with you,) in your third statement. Yes, control is given, but that doesn't equate to submission imo.