*peeks out of hiding* Um, so I wrote this? And would like feedback?

[Snark]

Knock, knock..."Ma'am...I have some mail for you..." The only two things I find wrong with this story is a: it's too short. It needs another 8-10k words. Then the rest of the chapters. b: I wasn't at the door. The tense is fine, just difficult to maintain over a longer story. The run ons are okay because they sound like you were out of breath...probably from all that vibrator play. I am. And it's not even my vibrator. Let's have a nice strong climax...then get back to writing. I can't wait. Oh...here's the mail.

[mkp]

*blushes* Thank you! I'm not sure I could manage to write much more of it, but I was pretty proud I managed to write what I did and actually post it.