I'm intrigued by how many people recall being precociously sexual (though a Freudian might say they were normal, and the others just don't acknowledge it.) I didn't think of it as sexual – sex was how grownups made babies – but I knew from as far back as I can remember that I got a special thrill from stories where people were tied or chained up, and descriptions of elaborate tortures in accounts of pirates or the Middle Ages.

I recall, about aged 7, stripping off in my room and experimenting with “tortures” like sitting on hairbrushes and walking on spikes. (I got a drawing pin in my foot and had to pass it off as an accident!) I imagined this was being done to me by some undefined enemies, who would make me slave for them naked and chained, or tie me up and use my naked body as furniture. We didn't have any big nudity taboo in my family – nobody locked the bathroom door unless we had guests, and me and my sisters dressed and undressed together without thinking anything of it. But being stripped by enemies was a completely different, scary and exciting idea.

Most of the fantasies I can recall at that age were about things being done to me, though I did sometimes enjoy imagining horrible punishments for bullies or teachers. But by the time I discovered masturbation I was mixing dom and sub ideas, with the idea of me doing it to others getting increasingly attractive. When I finally found a few kids who wanted to try the same things, I quickly decided that doing it was way more fun!

My first lover was wonderfully enthusiastic but incurably vanilla, but with my second one I discovered that holding her wrists while I kissed her turned her on, and pinning them behind her was even more exciting. So that night I tied her hands to the top of the bed and she went wild. The relationship didn't last much longer, but I had time to work up to chaining her down for sex and caning her ass, and after that I knew what I needed and wouldn't settle for less.