It was the 80's..big hair...big shoulders (pads)..frosted lipstick..those were the days.
Working the bar was more quiet on the weeknights and the live music in the background only did so much so at around 3am the night went downhill, and there were only so many bottles of alcohol I could arrange nicely and so many ashtrays I could empty.
I had just left home and told an itty bitty fib to get a job in this nightclub restaurant and the switch from working in nursing homes was great financially. My policy was never to date any customers, and I was very successful..however this particular night the rug was pulled out from under my feet when 'the most good looking guy waltzed into the bar area'.. hey I was seventeen..He was tan, had eyes that were the lightest shade of green, a killer smile that is seen in toothpaste adverts and wore a cologne that wasn't spicy..but oriental in it's fragrance. I literally was incapable of speaking for the first few seconds, and he goddamned well knew it..after a few seconds however I regained my composure (difficult for that age) and served him. After knocking back his drink offers, at around 430am he asked me out..and I told him I'd think about it (as a woman usually does)..but that only took me five minutes, so I said yes.

I nearly had kittens by the end of that week deciding what to wear, what makeup, whether to wear the shocking pink matching underwear or the basic black.. yes the pink won..
So we have dinner.. we go and see a live band.. drink a HELL of a lot. My mood is a combo of anticipation,lust and more lust.
Very late in the wee hours..we arrive to my place, a house which I shared with two others, a guy and a girl..things get heated, we move into the bedroom...and it's oh so grand but at the same time I'm shitting bricks because there I am a 'big virgin' and all, but the alcohol earlier provided dutch courage..and it all flowed so well...
just as the big moment happened..and I was in 7th heaven after realising it wasn't going to be that 'painful'.. there is a noise...and no time.. there is my female housemate (she forgot her goddamn keys) climbing through the window (which I, the idiot would leave slightly open in the summer)..

'Ohhhhh!!!' she says..


what do you do when it's summer, it's hot and there is not a blanket or sheet to be found so you can 'duck and cover'?