Wow...reading all of these made me cry. I am currently trying to get out of an emotionally and physically abusive relationship. I just discovered bdsm and really want to get into it deeper. I like the idea of being helpless but im always waiting for something to happen, for them to get mad or hit. I still tense up when ever anyone touches me. I want to get more into this but im afraid to let go. Reading everyones response on here really helped.