I am not sure of the specifics of your attachment disorder, but as far as control of your life... the bedroom is the ONE place that I not only CAN be submissive, but NEED to be submissive. I have a very dominate personality which has served me very well in the military and surviving being a single parent and my time as dual military as well as being an Army wife for a second time. Soldiers that work with my husband and ex respect me the same way they respect other Soldiers and look to me for a softer version of leadership (they know I'll hold them to the Army standard and then some, but since I am not their leader, they feel safer approaching me instead of them sometimes). After dealing with the daily trials of Army wife, mother, ex-husband, school and Soldiers and other BS that I run into, it is a relief to be able to just submit and let someone else take control for a while. But as soon as we are done playing, I can turn around, look at Dom and tell him point blank abc, xyz, make it happen Soldier, this is where *I* am in charge!!