Quote Originally Posted by denuseri View Post
Actually; especially when your new, you shouldnt be worrying about titular distinctions so much as increasing your knowledge base with an emphasis on saftey over kink and reality over fantasy. Getting cuaght up too much in eaither of the later can lead to all sorts of problems. You have plenty of time to figure out where you will fit in best later after you know more.
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Denu's advice is as sensible and helpful as ever. I'd just second this: many people, particularly women, feel they should go in as subs because they don't know where to start. Don't be surprised or alarmed if you find, when you have some more experience, that you'd rather be on the other end of the leash.

As for boundaries, if you Google "BDSM checklist" you'll find lists of just about everything anyone has ever done or fantasised about. You can either use them to write your own list of Yesses and Nos, or if you want to be really thorough, copy one of the lists and fill in its categories (from "No way!" through "might try it..." to "Oh yeah!") and present it to possible contacts.

And feel free to share any experiences that worry you or make you want advice. This is a safe space.