Quote Originally Posted by thir View Post
Of course it all depends on how you define mental abuse. Would you like to take a go at that? it might clarify things.

Why do I feel I'm being patronised? Ah! You're trying to put me in my place verbally.
Please tell me you are joking!

But I'll have a go. Forgive me if I explain it badly. Abuse, whether physical or mental is about control.
Hm. I am not so sure that it is neccesarily always so. I think some people simply really do loose their temper
or are simply just jerks. (M/K) I do not think it is always premeditated.

Women (who learn to express themselves verbally, and "use their head)
But what about all the males who live on their verbal skills, like sales persons, politicians and so on? Authors?

can easily diminish a man by commenting on the size of his penis or refusing to argue with someone so ill-equipped to do so.
And so do males often comment on women's looks...why do you think so many women feel that they can only be a succes if they look good?

I have witnessed such exchanges in different circumstances, and have seen males (deservedly) driven away pursued by hoots of derision by females;
Deservedly?..do you mean there was no other way to get rid of them? Because it can be like that. But otherwise I personally think a polite question deserves a polite answer.

but if women use these methods to deter unwanted advances, then so, too, will a manipulative, controlling, woman who wants to keep her partner under her thumb.
Ok maybe I am being slow on the uptake here, but would such behaviour not cause people to run screaming in the opposite direction?

She might deny him sex and jeer at him for his inability to satisfy her. Worse, she might take other lovers and flaunt her escapades in front of him. She might "show him up" by embarrasing him in front of his boss, or friends, family, or children ... anything she thinks will keep her in control.
Ok I admit I cannot see how that keeps that person in control. I would think people would get out of such a relationship as soon as can be - but I do see now what exactly you mean by abuse, thank you. And this is not meant patronizing in any way, I assure you.

You don't think a female abuser would try to avoid punishment by blaming her victim, knowing she is more likely to be believed than he is? I've no evidence, but I'm afraid I do.
Ok, I can only say I hope you are wrong!

Quote Originally Posted by thir View Post
With all due respect, that sounds weird. You cannot deny that being hit by a partner or parent will not leave scars.
It is not a competition.
.
You feel men are now competing to be the most victimised?
No. Men are asking that they not be automatically blamed unless and until it is shown they are at fault. And this goes beyond the question of domestic abuse.
Is that not what we all ask?


Quote Originally Posted by thir View Post
women' are not like this, and 'men' are not like that. We are individuals.
Not so. There are definite male tendencies and definite female tendencies. And not all female tendencies are nice ones.

I cannot see it as so simple, if only because the gender roles are so different from culture to culture.
But of course we are all both good and bad.



Quote Originally Posted by MMI View Post
If one dead man a day, then three or four dead women a day. Men are more physically violent.



Why do I feel I'm being patronised? Ah! You're trying to put me in my place verbally.

But I'll have a go. Forgive me if I explain it badly. Abuse, whether physical or mental is about control. Women (who learn to express themselves verbally, and "use their head) can easily diminish a man by commenting on the size of his penis or refusing to argue with someone so ill-equipped to do so. I have witnessed such exchanges in different circumstances, and have seen males (deservedly) driven away pursued by hoots of derision by females; but if women use these methods to deter unwanted advances, then so, too, will a manipulative, controlling, woman who wants to keep her partner under her thumb.

She might deny him sex and jeer at him for his inability to satisfy her. Worse, she might take other lovers and flaunt her escapades in front of him. She might "show him up" by embarrasing him in front of his boss, or friends, family, or children ... anything she thinks will keep her in control.

You don't think a female abuser would try to avoid punishment by blaming her victim, knowing she is more likely to be believed than he is? I've no evidence, but I'm afraid I do.




.

You feel men are now competing to be the most victimised? No. Men are asking that they not be automatically blamed unless and until it is shown they are at fault. And this goes beyond the question of domestic abuse.




Not so. There are definite male tendencies and definite female tendencies. And not all female tendencies are nice ones.