Quote Originally Posted by Austerus View Post
And doubt is perfectly natural. Trust is built through actions, not verbal reassurances. It's perfectly normal for a sub to pull at her lead to test if you're paying attention, and perfectly normal for you to jerk her leash to assure her that you are. It's perfectly normal for the testing to upset you and for you to punish her to remind her of her place. Those tests should become more rare over time as you prove you are in control and as trust is built.
Perhaps I differ in that I define that act as forgetfulness due to enthusiasm and a gentle correction. Yes, that happens all the time and no, it doesn't upset me anymore than a young pup during its leash training. But if I felt the sub was actually paying attention and testing me? That deserves a reminder of what our relationship is and what she agreed to. Once. (Nor is said reminder a punishment per se. I guess it should suffice that my disappointment is punishment enough, and if not, then is she truly submitting? Has she paid enough attention to performing her submissive role in her attempt to "test" me in my dominant role?

To that point, I did have a submissive at one point who felt she wasn't getting enough attention, nor was she, but I had made it clear that she was number two to another submissive. She "jerked" her leash and got exactly the same response... and then tested me by announcing she was through... and in that, she was correct. She'd apparently not gotten that reaction before.

Have you really not had subs test boundaries with you? If not then it seems like you either found exceptional women or are capable of building exceptional trust, either of which is worth a tip of the hat. *tip*
One finds all kinds. The choices are what counts. Not "settling" counts for more. Thank-you sir. Yes, I try to choose exceptional women AND am capable of building exceptional trust. (It surprises me, in fact, how I can do so both in person and online. The number of online-to-inperson meetings I've enjoyed, complete with immediate (same or next day) subsequent play and sex, quite frankly astounds me.)

All that said, I recognize that our disagreement may in fact be semantics. If I saw you in your environment and you saw me in mine, we'd both say the other actually reacts and responds exactly as I do.