Ok I talked to him about what I mentioned in the post and his response was " We got through 10 years of the way we had sex before we can go 10 more with just what we are doing now.Sex now is vanilla and a little BDSM sprinkled in.I want mostly BDSM and no vanilla.I am going to ask him to go to "The Upper Floor" maybe he will get what I am looking for.He is not much on going out and meeting new people,he likes to stay home.I don't think I could EVER get him to go to one of those munch parties.Well thanks for reading and responding if you did