i have not gone through exactly what you're describing, though i frequently experience a variation of it. i've never felt like what my mind views as a "slave". i have, however, always felt the great need to simply not be the one in control anymore. This feeling led me to bdsm and helped me define my role as a submissive. However, fairly frequently i go through phases of extremely submissive tendencies/behavior, to almost not even thinking about it from day to day, or even identifying myself as feeling decidely not submissive that day. i've come to realize these feeling circulate a lot around my current mood and security level in whatever it is i'm doing, especially my relationship with my Master. When i feel very connected to my Master, as though W/we're very much on the same wavelength i fall easily into my submissive headspace. However, if W/we've not been in contact for a few days i begin to pull out of my submissive tendencies - i personally think this is my way of coping (my submission works wonders when its highly active, however when it's not in practice, i fall back on my old ways of relying on my own control, hence the loss of my submission)

i'm not sure that i have any real advice for you, but i hope that what i've shared has helped a bit.