I am new here and wanted to comment even if this is an old thread- I am not nor have ever been part of the of the bdsm scene (though have always had the desire to experience it). I am proud I have reached out this much as just registering for this site has me nervous. What I wanted to say is my first real relationship (meaning first sex) was with someone that possessed probably 12 or 13 of these traits on the list and that excludes the ones strictly applicable to bdsm. Of course I was inexperience and very young but I do remember my friends warning me off of the relationship and my reply being "I know, he is very intense but don't worry we are just dating -I'm not going to marry the guy", well guess what- I married the guy. I don't really know how it happened but I remember my back sliding down the wall as I cried while I was being told we were getting married or the relationship was over as he insisted I be with him all the way or not at all; very romantic wouldn't you say? Anyway, that was a very long time ago and the point of all this is that sociopaths are not only cunning at mind games but their choice of who to entrap is usually someone they sense would be pliable, ergo submissive. Some of us have learned the hardway and It makes it that much harder to step off the ledge when on the outside we have built a shell that gives the message we are the farthest from wanting to be dominated but on the inside in secret has remained a unmet need.