You start by talking to like minded poeple. Take it slow if you need to. Play with a few different people. Find out if you really want to be a sub or domme. Relax take deep breaths. This should be fun and exciting. Hiding it from your bf can come back to bite you so be careful. You can use IE 8 or 9 inprivate browsing to keep it out of your history. Don't save passwords. Get him involved if you can!