Timing is everything. Discussing your fantasy and your needs between active play sessions is not topping. Doing so during a play session, even one where your expectations were different and are not being met, is topping.

During play, unless demanded so by the dominant, the dominant expects to lead and expects you to follow, take it, suffer, and/or enjoy. If he demands you reveal all during a play session, then you aren't topping, you are submitting to his demands. Otherwise, discuss it later. Or reveal all during your journaling... he does make you journal for him? It's something I demand from my (once) online submissives as a way to know them better. In-the-flesh, it's not as important to me, I get to look in their eyes and their reactions.