ksst, in case it wasn't clear it's often something like sub_name{DomName} or sub_name|DN|. Like I said it can mean a number of things, but is sort of the ephemeral, loosey-goosey online BDSM version of a wedding ring (or at least a "going steady" sign)

For physical pain, either a girl is masochistic or not. If she is masochistic then pain's often "play" for her, rather than correction. If she's not masochistic, then the person who hurts her regularly over what seem like small mistakes is going to become an object of fear, and the relationship is going to become a monotonous grind of constant pain, often at unexpected times for small slights. I guess there's different strokes for different folks, but that seems to me in the general case to be more damaging than strengthening.