Quote Originally Posted by denuseri View Post
<< is so tired of the expression "topping from the bottom".

Its been my experience that what a partner is really saying when they use this terminology is: Im not as dom as I thought I was and Im not able to handle dominating you so Im just going to whine now.

Or to quote from the wise old crone I earned my stripes from... "One does not complain to one's slave that they are not submissive enough, one either wields the whip or kneels before it."
I do share your annoyance at the frequency that this expression is being used!

However, there are times when that term is actually justified.

You are talking about relationships rather than more casual encounters. In more casual encounters, bad behaviour from a complete stranger meant to provoke a punishment does not do anything for me, except make me seriosly annoyed, and deciding that I won't have anything to do with this idiot.

In an actual relationship, I think it is a matter of what kind of relationship you have. Some are based on controlling the slave and keeping them down, others are based on a submission from the person which is already there. A submission that could never express itself in any other terms than with - submission.

I agree that there are doms who cannot control their slaves - they are not nessecarily not doms, but maybe simply badly matched with their sub. But there are also those who would badmouth their subs if they have problems, and that tells it all..Just as there are subs that would badmouth their previous doms, when they get into controlling their subs in earnest.

I agree with others here that fantasies are there to be shared, however they may or may not be expressed in reality, it is simply a thing a dom needs to know. And also, for that matter, that a need to talk in a 'time out' place it not topping from the bottom. There simply must be a time and place to talk about problems, freely.