Honestly, I could not agree with this more! Well said and kudos! It seems like a vicious circle of playing dirty and honestly sounds like it may not stop. I now question the validity of anything she may be saying. If, for two months, she allowed a game of manipulation before saying anything, how many other things have been said that carry deceit? It seems to me that maybe you just need to cut ties before it completely gets out if hand. I would have stopped it as soon as the husband withdrew consent. Mainly for respect and for morals. BDSM requires honesty and respect along with communication and trust. I feel she has betrayed all of that. I hope it all turns out for the best... Before something stupid happens.