That is really good advice, to start slow and not scare him. You want to start with someone you trust, also.

they might be open to, "What do you think about, next time I'm on top, spanking me a little bit?" If s/he says no, not as much of yourself is out there, feeling rejected, so it's a little safer, emotionally. It also lets them reply with, "No, but how about I blindfold you?" or with a, "Hell, yes! And could you (fill in the blank) to me, back?"

That is kind of what I did. "How about if you would tie me up a little more?" and it did progress fairly quickly to

I want you to tie me up, beat me, dominate me all night/all day/24/7,"
Well, within the limits of real life/work/family anyway.