I'm in a very similar situation just reversed. I have been married for 5yrs and have come to realize that I am definitely submissive and my husband NOT a Dominant. I wish I had something insightful to say to you but I'm suffocating in the same impossible situation that you are. I will tell you that you are not alone. As you have read from the other posts that there others just like us that find out who they really are after they are married and have difficult decisions to make because of that. Good luck to you Secretmaster, I hope you find what you are looking for.