Hi thalia,
I recently ended my vanilla marriage of 12 years. He is a really nice guy but we were nowhere near sexually compatible. I accidentally fell into BDSM about 6 months ago. I had always had these inclinations and feelings but never thought that I could explore them because whenever I approached the topic, my husband would back off and say he didn't feel comfortable "hurting" me. Like in your relationship, he was more submissive and did not come close to fulfilling any sort of dominant needs that I had. As much as it broke my heart, we are now separated and I have begun a relationship I never dreamed possible. Hang in there and take it slow. I am new to this site and so far, I have found it a wonderful place to be. There is a lot I do not know about the lifestyle but even more important, there is so much I have to learn about myself and my needs. I ignored them for way too long. I feel so grateful to have the opportunity to learn about this important part of who I am. I am happy for you to have this same opportunity. Good luck and have fun exploring!