I agree and he might even discover that some of his own fantasies fit under that large umbrella and aren't necessarilly "balk-worthy".

The more you read and learn, the more you will find things quite near the realm of vanilla. 50s lifestyle might appeal to him. It might be as simple as him realizing you want him to demand you do things a certain way. Whether it's an ordered menu, his favorite meals, keeping house... vacuuming (behind the closed doors of your bedroom) naked or dressed in garters, hose, and heels. Being kinky can even be something as simple as vanilla sex anytime he feels like it. On demand. Even brusk and then hop to it and get him a beer.

You seem to have responded at work merely because they want it the way they want it and perhaps raised their voices a bit. Or loomed. Or invaded you personal space a bit. He might be more than okay with starting there if he doesnt want to be the next DeSade. Becase D/s doesn't actually require any of the trappings of B&D or S&M.

And though this all may sound like mere band-aids, You won't get anything you want if you don't start. But you may find that once you get started, momentum will take you where you want to go. Read ksst's blog and consult with her. I won't say she was in exactly the spot you are in when we met her here, but she must have been at one point. They are currently both enjoying an expanded lifestyle. Not exactly his cup of tea, but he's starting to find facets of the life he enjoys... and is learning there's more than he thought. And ksst seems much happier right now than she was when we first met her. So what's to lose in trying.

*With apologies to ksst if I have overstepped myself using her situation as an example.*