My best advice is to get out to munches with the intention of making friends. Don't go looking for your perfect Dom go looking to meet Doms, subs, and couples who you can become friends with. In most places the BDSM community is rather tight knit and people get reputations fast, having friends will steer you away from some of the bad and toward the good. I know what its like working crazy hours but if its at all possible thats what I suggest you do. For years I was on and off in the lifestyle with Doms that looking back I realize it was a wonder I never got hurt. Once I finally got involved in the community things became a lot safer, more fun, and easier to meet someone you actually click with.