how to let go?

[Pheonix5]

My husband and i have dabbled in bondage and some other things. I have two problems I'm not sure how to handle.

First, i want to experience the submissive side. I have the alpha personality my marriage and i'm not sure if i can relinquish complete control. I love being tied up but it frustrates when i can't have control. i really want to try but not sure what else will help me let go.

Second, i know my husband wants to be more dominate but he pulls back too easily. If he spanks me and i make the tiniest noise of pain he stops. Even when i ask him to continue, it's not full on. How can i help him overcome his issues.

I know it sounds like we should just reverse rolls, but i don't want to be the one in control all the time. I want him to push me and i'm not sure how.

[Demon_Goddess_165]

Talk things over first. Be very clear about what you want and don't want. Encourage him to explore his dominate side and don't be critical if the scene doesn't meet your expectations. If he's listening for you to make pain sounds I'd go with a gag and a clicker.
Comunication is the key!

[thir]

My husband and i have dabbled in bondage and some other things. I have two problems I'm not sure how to handle.

First, i want to experience the submissive side. I have the alpha personality my marriage and i'm not sure if i can relinquish complete control. I love being tied up but it frustrates when i can't have control. i really want to try but not sure what else will help me let go.

Second, i know my husband wants to be more dominate but he pulls back too easily. If he spanks me and i make the tiniest noise of pain he stops. Even when i ask him to continue, it's not full on. How can i help him overcome his issues.

I know it sounds like we should just reverse rolls, but i don't want to be the one in control all the time. I want him to push me and i'm not sure how.

The thing is, in this game the ball is at the Dominant's end of the field. It is the Dominant who helps the sub let go. If talking this through very thoroughly with your husband does not loosen up things, I cannot see what how you can help. But other Doms might.

Maybe he can talk to Doms here? Or maybe he can find a mentor or friend at the closest club, and he can see what others do, and that it is ok to do it.

I also wonder how long you have been playing - maybe he simply needs more time to get into the role?

[MstrJake]

Is it possible that your husband is basically submissive sexually? If so, there may be a whole lot of unexplored feelings and experiences in his life. This is just idle speculation, so please take this with appropriate quantities of salt. But if you two have not explored this it might be worth looking at. It won't make life any easier, but it might make it possible for each of you to be "see" as you really are. Then role play might become possible.