welcome.

your concern about hurting your wife brings to mind something that my Master firmly believes in. i'm wondering if it would be helpful to point it out...it's what he likes to call "situational awareness". by situational awareness, what he is referring to is communication with your partner, and the physical, mental, and emotional state your wife would be in at the time. are you communicating throughout the scene? are you paying attention to her heart rate, her facial expressions, the tone of her voice, etc... it is always of the utmost importance, in the name of educating yourself first, to do some research and such beforehand...but you will discover that a good deal of what you will learn the most from is going to be from being "hands on". may i suggest that you do the necessary reading and research first, and then slowly build up to what you are trying to do with your partner...all the while communicating and being aware? while i realize that your submissive is only able to teach you so much from her position in the relationship, her input on her end of any experiences you share and her feelings, can go a long way toward helping you learn as you go. yes, i am sure it would be helpful as well to talk and discuss with others who have experience. this place seems to be good for that as well. it would seem that there is sound advice here when needed...i'm sure you could ask questions here on the library. or maybe you could look into a local munch group in your area as well...

i apologize if i'm not much help, but i do sincerely hope that i've at least been somewhat helpful..

well wishes and good luck on your journey.