Quote Originally Posted by miyu View Post
So i have gotten to dabble lightly in a few things bdsm related, and i am a switch as far as i know, but i think the reason for
this is i am terrified to relinquish 100% control. i am afraid of being hurt, and of being humiliated/thought less of. which makes
me feel much more withdrawn to simply following orders. is there a way for me to get over this fear? how do i just let myself
take a leap of faith and enjoy the ride?

has anyone ever felt this way? what did you do?
i feel a lot of what you are going through, miyu. i thought i might be a switch for several years but that is not what or who i want to be and made my decision on being the slave to my Husband/Master. i still am fighting with myself to relinquish all the control that i once had because this is still a new lifestyle for us. Although i trust Him, i am not comfortable with being physically hurt or humiliated.

Getting the mindset to relinquish that control has helped but like subgirl1026 and many others, i tend to question Master too often. It's out of my curiosity and my newly relinquished control that i do this. Habit, if you will. This site and the people i have talked to have been the biggest help to me. they have been inspiration to stick to my decision and make this work. Just in a week's time, Master says there has been a huge improvement to my behavior and i am becoming more and more the perfect slave everyday.

Let me know if there is anything i can help you with. i will be happy to answer any more questions you have.

software