Rock on! I completely agree with you on all points.

A lot of people sneer at OL relationships, which is fair enough I suppose, but there's a value and closeness that's possible in a good one that can really add something to your life. Even if it's just hope. It is a lot trickier in some ways than a proper RL thing though, since distance and lack of the physical is pretty hard to ignore. As you say, respect is first and foremost, but that goes without saying in either type of relationship I think. I know for me, no matter how someone looks or what skills they may have, if I don't respect them, there's no way in hell I'm going to submissive to them.

Another important factor that, I think, a lot of people overlook is communication. I don't just mean email or IM or whatever, but real communication and expressiveness in it. It's hard, for me at least, to be with someone who can't express themselves in words. It's a little hard to feel submissive to someone when their messages are full of 'lols' and making more spelling mistakes than a dyslexic hamster on a keyboard. Or maybe I'm just being a snob... hard to tell.