I think we may be looking at this with a rather narrow focus...as not everyone in bdsm is into "protocol play" or into anything outside of in the bedroom bdsm...or even into having any kind of one on one relationship at all....there are some commonalties that work in most parts of the community, public access dungeons , munches and other venues online or otherwise too.

Anything else is going to be subjective to the protocols of a specific group or individual.

In so far as how one speaks to another etc...variations between online and real will vary or not based upon the above and whatever other situational parameters' apply.

In the other things....well...no matter what I do...I cant get physically spanked through a computer screen.