Submission is a gift?

[Master Sergeant]

Before i express my response; Understand it is only my opinion. I am not a mental health professional. I am a Man who is a Dominant with a Sub (Wife).
Your observance that you claiming dominance in a relationship Definately Is Not a gift.

[Master Sergeant]

Trusting another enough to open the box of hidden desires is no small act. The sub who finally tells a partner of their desire / need to be submissive has a risk of ruining an established relationship. Others may see them as weird or too kinky to accept. Once the cat is out of the bag, the lines of communication and acceptance of responsibility increase ten fold. An accepting Dom takes on the obligation to provide a haven for the newly discovered sub. Extensive reading and understanding is required of the Dom. There is a great deal more to the D/s relationship than the servitude of the sub to the Dom. The Dom accepts the responsibility to ensure the subs mental and psychological / emotional needs are met and desires are unhidden. To find and meet the individual needs of the sub will enrich the relationship beyond sex. The commitment of one to the other becomes stronger and the 2 can grow to enjoy a rewarding relationship. In short; Submission is not a gift but, is a challenge to the mind and body of anyone calling themselves Dom.

[skittish doe]

I respectfully disagree with the OP on his first point. I think that submission is indeed a gift.

If a gift goes unopened, does this fact deem it no longer a gift? I think not. My opinion is that it remains a gift, even an unopened gift.

If a gift means nothing to the recipient, does that mean it was meaningless to the giver? My own opinion is that the value of this gift from the giver’s standpoint does not change according to the value placed on it by the recipient. (Hopefully however, the giver will choose a more suited recipient when giving his/her gifts, in their future.)

I also hold the opinion that Dominance is a gift. Not everyone values it as such, nor should everyone. Some gifts are simply not yours to open. In addition, I think that most folks can see that they are only responsive (opening such gifts) only to a certain type – their own ‘type’ of partner – in this dovetailed dynamic.

This part I do agree with:

(…) a symbiotic relationship in which both offer something vital to the other, meeting a need that is crucial to who each individual is, and that the real gift is in sharing yourselves honestly, openly and completely without regard to which side of the dominance/submissive coin you happen to be on.

I see it as an exchange of gifts. Gifts that both sides find the need to *give* a certain piece of themselves, and also the need to treasure a different piece, from the other. Gifts, no less.

Those are my thoughts. Thank you to all who have shared theirs on this interesting topic. I value other’s opinions and look forward to reading more.