I think that most of what's been said above is in context all true and depending on your personal belief, okay. But what really gets my goat is when ppl suggest that to be homosexual, in any shape or form (speaking as a bi woman) is below standard.
Alex, you mention that:

'When you choose to become a part of a particular community, within the wider community, you're expected to abide by certain rules. It's a kind of unspoken agreement, an understanding that you will support and encourage the ideas of the group, that you will do your best to live by their standards.'

Well, Christianity is not simply something which has arrived at our doorstep as a full-blown message on how to live- it is something which has evolved according to events and history. The way we live now is part of that history, and to suggest that living as a homosexual, or being part of a loving gay relationship is below standard and immoral, detracts from the struggle of thousands of men and women who have fought to be recognised by the Church and by wider society as people who HAVE standards, and who are part of our society and who wish to make a contribution- either within the church or outside of it! I know many Catholics (myself included) and christians who are gay and who struggle to make sense of this God who is forgiving --but won't forgive this fundamental wish to be with someone who makes you happy.
I think that it's fantastic that in certain parts of the US communities are taking it upon themselves to operate outside of the credo of the Pope who - let's face it- isn't the most loving person in the world, and are creating churches which actually comply with the (majority) of Jesus' messages-- to be forgiving and understanding of other people and to not be abusive. (okay- so i don't know the bible off the top of my head either, but i do know the gist of what is said).
Moreover, the church cannot ignore that what goes on outside of it's doors, also happens inside. I mean, you just have to look at the news reports of priests in England and Ireland, and no doubt much further afield who have been charged with abusing vulnerable members of their own church (usually boys) to see that the 'homosexual problem' is embedded within the make-up of how the church is run and is not going to go away in a hurry.

I think it's great to have a discussion about this, but it's important to remember that just because you are christian or catholic does not necessarily mean you are straight- it's not a given, but rather something which has been laid down in the bible and scripture because of events unfolding at the time- if you think about it in a historical manner, maybe having sex with a woman rather than a man when Jesus, and all his apostles were around WOULD be rather stupid because it meant that your line, or small family holding wouldn't bear sons and therefore any labour power would have to be found outside the lineage- expensive!

Anyway, i've said my bit. Good discussion point alex.

xx