When I first came to the lifestyle I was inexperienced.. all the way. and while I knew from the start that vanilla would never do (something that caused many a barrier to be errected and kept me inexperienced far longer that i whished)
I would not speak about my desires with anyone for fear of beeing rejected and or being "outed". The disaprovement of others, at that time was something I could not bear. I was pretty much afraid of that as well as of my own desires. afraid that someone might take advantage of them and lead me where I did not want to be lead.. my sexually submissive nature clashed in my eyes (at that time) with my seeing myself as a strong woman.
I first began exploring it by reading stories here in the library section long before I became a member as well as reading on other pages, googling information and so on.
when I was ready to start communicating with others I came into contact with one who was as inexperienced as I but on the other side of the D/s spectre. For first talking it gave me the feeling of beeing safe. Somebody I would naver have to meet, somebody who was as new at this as I.. But we got along really well and had the same outlook on the world...
Long story short: We met in real life as we became really comfortable with each other over time, are now married and have grown into it together.
Where he was hesitant in the beginning he now trusts my judgement as I do his and he can become quite mean ( which I like) and we still do a lot of experimenting and learning. There´s always something new to try. I´d trust him with my life, I´m always able to tell him all thats on my mind, he knows me batter that I myself and is just my other half.. An assertive male with a mind as deviant as mine ;-) I love my Murphy from the heart.
Deigja