I am sorry you had no answers with this - the library seems to have trouble getting back on its feet, to my sorrow.

Another reason may be that it is very difficult to get any answer here. My first thought is: do you have any thoughts for your husbands needs at all? What are his real needs? In a marriage both parties must have their needs met.

You have only two choices, as I read your post: try more to get your marriage going, with respect to the needs of both parties, or leave, difficulties or not.

I'd say if you stay, stop cheating. You cannot treat another person like that, regardless.