Love vs. Love

[lily27]

Getting back to jeanne's original question, I think there is a fourth (third? lol) "type". I love, because I love.

I was just thinking about Master and trying to fit him into one of the catergories, but I can't. I love him because I love him. The end.

I could give you a list of things that I love about him, but that wouldn't explain WHY I love him. (I could also give you a list of things that drive me nuts, but that is neither here nor there....) I love him just because I do.

If you expand your definition of love beyond the romanitic type (and assuming that you do in fact believe in love) and ask yourself why you love your parents? Your siblings? You children? It is probably not something you can explain. You just love them.

I love Master.
I love my family.
I love my friends.
I love my child more than life itself.
I love Candy Cane Chocolate Fudge Crackle ice cream.

Why does it have to be any more complicated than that?




[I have had a couple of glasses of wine this evening.... apologies if this post makes no sense at all.]

[damyanti]

Why does it have to be any more complicated than that?

The smart ass answer would be because I have to question everything, LOL.

But that is just it...if its Love it shouldnt be complicated. If you have to question, if there is constantly high drama, if you do things that you know will hurt another person, if you go from one relationship to another - it is not Love. If you are on again off again on again...it doesnt strike me as love.

I seriously doubt that anyone loves anyone (and this goes for more than just romantic love). We do right by them, we spend time together, we bond, we stay together out of choice. We care...

...We settle...and call it love.

When we meet someone with whom we click, we are overwhelmed with hormones, we become completely crazy about the other person. It is almost like an addiction. Amber does pose a very good question...why is this less? Because it doesnt last. Because its flimsy. Because its addictive and because a lot of people go from one relationship to another trying to capture that feeling because they think its love.

If people do stay together after that it is out of habit, because its convenient, because its monetary sound policy, because they have been together for a long time and their lives are too entwined. Because they are afraid to be alone. And in lucky cases there is still affection.

People are social creatures, we have urges/needs to bond. It has been that way since the beginning of time. Why is that less worthy than "Love"? Romantic love as a relationship foundation is a rather new concept.

Today is also common to hear "I love you" when someone is merely in lust after you and they simply decide you tick all the right boxes of what they want. In fact this is the most common example. What grates me is the dishonesty of it. People cheat or do other hurtful things but thats ok because they "love" their partner.

Perhaps I am in the wrong and you are right that this is Love. But as I said in the post above you are welcome to it. It involves too much drama, too many lies, its too exhausting...because when you come crashing back to reality hurt of what you didnt find is all too real. And unlike the popular saying I dont believe that pain is love....he/she is just not that into you (and they probably never were).

[Skyybird]

http://www.gocomics.com/loveis/2009/02/23/

There is a new one everyday....and so far I havent seen one that I dont agree with!

[usbabe]

I really don't know if one can describe love in words ......actually. When i first met my late husband, i liked him but not overly so.......as time went on we had our issues but became closer. Then one day it just happened and all of a sudden......we were both exactly on the same plane, so to speak. It was like we were both in each others souls.......a knowing.......a trust.......a filling of each others voids. I know this must sound crazy but that is exactly how it happened and we both knew, we had to be together.....without a single doubt. Now i'm not saying there wasn't work involved but there is also work involved in my other love relationships, such as, my family, and my closest friends.....all of the most important relationships require work to keep them vibrant and close.
The other thing i do know......it has been over 10 yrs since "my love mate" passed and no I have not found another. So i guess for me......love is a deep, profound, meaningful journey, that is not easily replaced. And to describe it does not involve how i felt, how he made me feel, or any of his traits........it involved how it affected both of our souls. Is that corny or what? But true nontheless.

[JimmyJump]

I guess it all colmes down to the one, unanswerable question: "What is Love?"...

I fear that in certain, or even most situations, love is confused with lust. You can lust for someone, because of the pre-etched vision you have about how a certain person should behave and react.

Once you've encountered the person that behaves and reacts in the way you had envisaged, lust kicks in, because the mental picture you've made of your future partner, is a projection of that lust.

Now, of course, love can come from lust, when taking the time to look beyond your own mental picture and learn about the person.

Ofton though, the latter doesn't happen, because in a BDSM situation, the dom/master/whatever, is too keen on molding the sub, on perfecting the mental picture by using the sub as a human canvas, so to speak.

That is why so many BDSM relationships (and relationships in general) go all pearshaped after a wee while, because the 'hunter' doesn't want to know his 'victim'. The hunter just wants to live his fantasy and in the process drives off the newfound partner.

To answer the question [what I Love about my partner(s)]. At the moment nothing at all, cuz I'm single. But I would and will say: I love her because it's her. Because of who she is. Because of all the little imperfections, both physical and mental, that make her the person she is.

That's it really.


JJ