Innate or Learned?

[tehya]

Oh this is a great thread... time to get it going again!

Nature or Nurture??? All I know is from my earliest memories i have had a need to please others, serve others and relinquish myself to others (sometimes this was not always a good thing).

When I found out there was a name for what I am, I was amazed. This meant I was not the only one out there like this!

I never could find myself in a fulfilling relationship, because there was always so much missing for me. Until the day I discovered D/s relationships. I must say, I slipped in with ease, grace and comfort.

No one taught me to be submissive... I feel I just am. The same goes for BDSM... I am discovering my limits in this, but that I had a natural draw to it. Some aspects much more than others. Pain levels differ from one act to the other. But the desire to express myself through pain & bondage has obviously also been very natural for me.

So there it is... not very scientific, but how I feel about my submission.

Master's tehya

[woodsman'sgame]

Arghhh! My very long reply was not accepted and it disappeared.
@#$%^&!!!!

Bah! I'm not writing that long explanation again. I had all kinds of support for my response. But in short, as an experienced educator who has read and studied these theory for years and observed human behavior in and out of the classroom, I have come to the conclusion that human behavior in all aspects is both inate (genetic) and learned. The extent of the influence of genetics depends on the behavior in question.

As far as BDSM is concerned (this is strictly my opinion, no authorities to pull from) it is mostly learned, yet we should remember that "normal" human intercourse (as I have stated somewhere else in this forum) requires the woman to assume a submissive position and the act itself has a semblance of violence. For the male to achieve orgasm he must thrust hard and fast into the female. It is very hard to feel dominant when you are on the receiving end of this thrusting, so I think that submissiveness or dominance is an inate part of our sexuality. How far we carry these submissive and dominant behaviors is learned.

By the way, the intercourse dilemna brings me to a question for the females dommes. How do you deal with intercourse with your sub? How do you maintain the dominance during this submissive act other than being on top (it balances it out some for the female to be on top but you are still being penetrated)? Don't answer here. I don't want to steal this thread. I will start a new thread

[Katmandu]

Although, I did read a rather gruesome story about horny zombies in the Library the other day.....

Anyway, I was a Psych Major in College, until my Junior year, when in order to pass the classes, all I had to do was "agree" with and mimic my Professors' opinions (aka professional certainty). Well, needless to say, I did not, could not, and dropped out of college until I could find my true calling, because the Professors were all obviously and idiotically (in my humble opinion!) quite wrong! Psychological answers are, and always have been subjective. Just like the question in this thread- Nature vs. Nurture.

So far, nobody has approached the subject of "Switches". How does one explain that away? Or, how about all of us subs in here that are extremely agressive/ dominant in real life, but submissive in BDSM? It's almost the same as being a Switch. Now, the explanation for this query, perhaps, lies in the acceptance of what Woodsman's Game said:

I have come to the conclusion that human behavior in all aspects is both inate (genetic) and learned.

Society (nurturing) has taught us men/women to succeed in real life no matter what it takes, even to the point of being aggressive, or dominent. But in fun time world, our natural tendencies come to the forefront.....

Although, all in all, as much as I WANT to be a very good sub, at times I simply cannot let go of my "professional" personality, and this wreaks havoc in the bedroom with my Dom.....*boohoo* just ask him, we've been "on the outs"/ confused/ fighting for the last 3 days! And the guy can't figure out what the Hell to do with a rebellious slave......poor Master!

[erisv]

with each post i type i can just see people nodding at the "opinionated wench" tag under my name and now you know why it's there! anyway i just can't resist the urge to say something and until there is a gag for keyboards i will throw my thoughts up and pray i don't offend anyone too badly.

i agree with most of what has been said about behavior being both innate and learned and i'd like to touch on the subject of switches for just a moment. speaking as an outsider looking in on this (i'm submissive to the core despite my loud mouth but have friends that switch) i would guess that they probably have innate tendencies one way or the other as most of us do but that perhaps their own biology is more evenly balanced toward moderation in temprament then a Dominant or submissives. or perhaps as someone else said in another post - sorry don't remember who or where at the moment and am too lazy to flip pages looking - their "nurture" clashed with their "nature" giving them learned and biological basis' for both sides of the whip.

any switches out there wanna play along and give us an answer???

for myself i've pretty much always been a submissive and fought like hell against it due to my upbringing until recently and i can say i have never felt a sense of relief and....wholeness, like the one i experienced when i gave myself over to this part of my nature under the ever so tormenting guidance of a friend of mine. but that's another story for a different thread and i think i've probably bored y'all enough at this point.

jen