Silke's ramblings...

[Silke]

Thanks, mina...I hope so too. But it'll be a good while before things get back to normal and I just have to find a way to cope in a more healthy way. Getting there, though.

[cookiecat]

Silke, I just had to smile when you said "it will be a while until things get back to normal" - that somehow our "normal" has become giving our heart/mind/body to someone we've never met, held, kissed..... but someone we know so well.

In any event, you sound as though you are approaching your r/l in a healthy manner; talking things over and finding support from those who share or atleast understand your feelings is a very good step.

Here's to more normal days ahead!! cookiecat

ps - thanks tojo for the kind words

[Silke]

Silke, I just had to smile when you said "it will be a while until things get back to normal" - that somehow our "normal" has become giving our heart/mind/body to someone we've never met, held, kissed..... but someone we know so well.

Lol, did I really say that? Man...the things I consider to be normal nowadays. And it's only been a few months. Sometimes I forget how far I've come on the journey in such a short time and I take that as a good sign, like I've come closer to my real essence. It feels so liberating to follow my heart instead of trying to fit into a mainstream stereotype that never suited me. Strange how other people seem to have seen that before I realised it myself, I know my Master did. *smiles*

Sooo....any chance of hearing something more from your life, cookiecat?

[cookiecat]

Silke - see? you are such a warm sub. I have no intention of hijacking your thread. My story is probably not much different from many; I have read the stories forever and for some reason, started looking around the forum and the academy. I thought what a better way to see if this is something I really like than to join the academy...road test a few actual tasks....

Was in the chat room lurking and met someone....it's only been a short time but very intense. We are taking things very slow but it's been very revealing and very rewarding.

Oops - started hijacking! Thanks for the ear. And so glad things are returning to "normal" for you and your Master.

[His Slut]

*tiptoes in, begins reading...*

[His Slut]

*warm hugs for Silke*

Sorry if it seems a bit forward, but I just couldn't help myself...

[Silke]

No need to tiptoe, HS...feel free to walk around and stomp your feet. And a warm hug is always appreciated...thanks!

I'm glad to have provided a place to share some of your story, cookiecat. And yes, some of it sounds very familar and brings back memories. *smiles* My first dive into the lifestyle was at a different site but the real journey started at the academy and here at the forums, too. I'm glad you found someone special here...and I'm looking forward to hearing how things develop.

[Tojo]

Thanks for a peek at your life cookiecat- that's hardly hijacking when Silke invites you to post.

We're here to share our lives- our 'normal' lives...


Tojo

[His Slut]

No need to tiptoe, HS...feel free to walk around and stomp your feet. And a warm hug is always appreciated...thanks!

Well, in that case...


*CLOMP, STOMP, BANG, STOMP*

[Silke]

Yay...noise!! *grins* Glad y'all feel at home here.....

[His Slut]

Yeah, I noticed there's not much noise up in here. What's up with that???? I'm not the quiet type really...

[Tojo]

Yeah, I noticed there's not much noise up in here. What's up with that???? I'm not the quiet type really...

Well I'm behaving myself out of respect for a young lady who means the world to me.

Tojo

[His Slut]

Well I'm behaving myself out of respect for a young lady who means the world to me.

Tojo

*glances furtively at Silke*

It almost sounds like she needs a bit of noise, though...?

[Silke]

And she doesn't like it loud?? Katie...we're only after some harmless shouting and dancing here...no kinky loud stuff....promise! *uncrosses fingers behind back* Just bring your girl along, Tojo.

[His Slut]

Well, hell!!! In that case...

*busts out the way old school booty music and a case of Zima...*

Let's get the party started!

[Silke]

*grins*...help a poor foreigner out here...what's Zima??

[Tojo]

Yes- with katie by my side I can make a LOT of noise.

That works for me.

Let's rock.


Tojo

[His Slut]

*grins*...help a poor foreigner out here...what's Zima??

Sorry, love...you REALLY don't wanna know...it's pretty much like an unflavored wine cooler. Pretty popular here in the states about 15 years ago with the 15 to 18 year old crowd.

[Silke]

Sounds like a plan, Tojo! Let's change this thread from depressive to partying, lol. Ain't no better cure for a) the hangover I got from last night and b) feeling lonely. *grins*

But if I'm guessing correctly about Zima being booze, pleeeeeaaase leave me out of that! My head still hurts...

[His Slut]

Sounds like a plan, Tojo! Let's change this thread from depressive to partying, lol. Ain't no better cure for a) the hangover I got from last night and b) feeling lonely. *grins*

But if I'm guessing correctly about Zima being booze, pleeeeeaaase leave me out of that! My head still hurts...

Not REALLY booze...6 of them will get you a slight buzz...

*sneaks away and pours herself another Tanqueray and Tonic*

[Silke]

*sees HS sneaking off for a drink and flinches* Oh boy, I'll never drink again! Hang on...I said that last week, too. Some people never learn, I guess, lol.

Anyone up for a dance?

[His Slut]

*sees HS sneaking off for a drink and flinches* Oh boy, I'll never drink again! Hang on...I said that last week, too. Some people never learn, I guess, lol.

Anyone up for a dance?

Yeah, that's what I said too!

*cranks up the booty music and starts grinding*

[Silke]

*moves up behind HS and gets into the rhythm* Yessss, if anything helps putting your mind at ease it's dancing!! Well, there's something else that might do the trick, but...

[cookiecat]

just got back from chris isaak concert and see the party has started! have dirty martini in hand and starts dancing with HS & Silke.... it IS time for fun.

[Silke]

Mmmmm...Chris Isaak...helluva sexy voice!

[Silke]

Fuck, fuck, FUCK! You know, I thought I was doing pretty darn well this week...but it just all collapsed like a card house. *sighs* I think my resolve to work through being lonely only works until Sundays, then all the energy is used up and I'm raw...no protective layer left.

I knew I'd probably only get to talk to Master on weekends, so I was ok...until now. It's Monday now, officially...no word from Master the whole weekend.....and with the new work week starting....probably another wait until the weekend....and then? *sighs* I don't know how many weeks like this I can take!! It's not only being lonely - it's not knowing when or if he'll be there, spending my nights online waiting for the slight chance that he might log on and not wanting to waste one of those precious opportunities, not knowing fuck all...only hoping, wishing, praying, crying...trying to figure out what can be so damn difficult in just sending a single line to say he cares but can't talk right now? Am I being unfair? Maybe. But right now I can't do anything about it...I just miss him like crazy, miss him so much it hurts. And he's the only cure - go figure!

[Timberwolf]

"It's not only being lonely - it's not knowing when or if he'll be there, spending my nights online waiting for the slight chance that he might log on and not wanting to waste one of those precious opportunities, not knowing fuck all..."

Been there, done that.

Hell, still do it some nights.

[cookiecat]

ohhhhhhhhh silke - sits next to you, puts arm around you and hands you my martini. i'll cry a little with you....

although i got to talk to my sir - and i am so grateful for that, we had a weird row. not even really a fight, maybe a misunderstanding? i got the "talk" - not sure when he can be with me next, we both have responsibilities and all.

which then makes me feel just like what you said - i'm running to the computer, hoping to catch him, find an e-mail, just checking in....but i got a little bratty and said well of course i have a real life, too - does he think i'm just sitting here waiting for him? which i am but....

sighs. oh silke - all will be well, i just know it. in the meantime, let's put our sexiest shoes on and go out. (or....put our jammies on, pop a big bowl of popcorn & rent a movie??)

take very good care. cookie

[Silke]

*wipes tears away and manages a smile* Oh please, not you as well, cookiecat. I really don't wish this on anyone. *hugs*

And by the way...I do have a life and I'm sure you do as well. I personally just sleep less. Which is okay as long as I hit the jackpot every now and again...but constantly hoping and being frustrated? I know I could just let it be, go out, get some sleep, whatever....but if I never know if I might miss the one night he finds time to sign on? No, I'm not going to risk that.

Thanks for the invitation, cookiecat...I just don't think I'm party material right now, lol. Not presentable that's for sure.

[cookiecat]

no no - silke - i think i can only understand a small piece of what you must feel. just wanted to extend a hug and say thoughts are with you. take care! cookie