Early Fantasies

[angelpet]

I started fantasizing about being submissive when I was 13. My family, one day out for a country ride, had found about 100 issues of playboy and penthouse on the side of the road, in a box. Well my parents kept them and those magazines sat on our back porch under a piano bench, next to my bedroom door all my teen life. At night as I lay in bed, I started reading the articles and stories. The bondage related ones always made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside and always stuck in my mind. So I started to seek those stories out, ripping the pages out and making my own collection of stories that I liked the best. After reading the stories, I would lay there and masturbate and fantasize. I would dream about how I was placed on a table in the center of about 5 men, sometimes the men were young boys my age. Slowly I would be stripped of my clothes as each man would touch and tease me as they took a piece of clothing from me. I would be tied up then and they would take their turns with me. They would stand around me, jacking off while each of them took turns ravishing me one by one. Sometimes I turned the fantasy into Bikers that captured me and took me out to the desert and had their way with me in the same kind of scenario. I was always the submissive one in my fantasies growing up. Not the “helpless damsel in distress” kinda girl….just the submissive one.

I believe that I was born submissive; almost everything about me is submissive, right down to my vanilla personality…

I thank whoever dropped that huge box of Magazines on the side of the road that day. I feel that was the awakening of my submission, as it brought out what I feel is natural to me.

angelpet

[jaeangel]

Yes, that was my first fantasy. I was ten, and I had this report for Social Studies class where I had to give a brief history of my culture. I'm Korean, and knew nothing, so I went and did some research. While I was working on the report I noticed that invaders from the two main empires in Asia were constantly invading the smaller countries and trying to take over, and Korea was one. And i figured that if they fought battles, they'd take prisoners of war, too. Later that same year I read a book called 'Spring Moon' by Bette Bao Lord for English class, and that introduced to me to the whole notion of children raised by concubines within the confines of the Forbidden City. It was only months later that I realized when I went to pick up my summer reading list I picked up the wrong list. The reading list I picked up had The Taming of the Shrew and The Handmaid's Tale and Jane Eyre on it, and i read all the books on the list, and loved every book. and when i went back to school and handed the ten reports for my summer reading to the teacher, i found out that I had books like Black Beauty, Heidi, and Charlotte's Web on my list, not the fun stuff I had read over the summer. I did get my summer reading credits, and the teacher did grade my reports, but my mother was scandalized when I asked if I could get a pass to start checking the 'Fourth Grade and up' books from the school library. Why would anyone want to read 'Tom Sawyer' when they could read 'Handmaid's Tale?' I loved that book. Still love it. Just the whole idea of wearing a uniform that marks you as someone's fuck girl, and being forced to submit to having sex with a man because his wife can't have kids and she wants them.. ooh.

[slavelucy]

Why would anyone want to read 'Tom Sawyer' when they could read 'Handmaid's Tale?' I loved that book. Still love it. Just the whole idea of wearing a uniform that marks you as someone's fuck girl, and being forced to submit to having sex with a man because his wife can't have kids and she wants them.. ooh.

You know, it's funny how different people perceive text or what turns different people on, because despite my sexual tastes (heh! ), i felt nothing but utter bleakness and sadness during much of 'The Handmaids Tale'. (infact, it was one of the very few novels that have ever actually made me cry). Ever since reading your post, i've been trying to figure why this is...and the only words that come to mind are passionless, claustrophobic and well, bleak. i am quite confused by my own feelings towards it, because i find the actual notion of sexual slavery quite horny, in fantasy, but Atwood doesn't present it as fantasy, it's grittily and horrifyingly real.

Anyway, i'm rambling, just thought i'd add all that for no other reason than to say thanks, i like hearing about different perspectives on books and your post was quite thought provoking to me.

sl

P.S. jaeangel - that first fantasy you posted - crikey, you could make that into a novel! It's so detailed and intricate for such an early fantasy.

[redEva]

Thank you so much for your response, jeanangel, I truly enjoyed it. It is amazing how books can trigger emotions and fantasies, and how, as lucy pointed out, same read has different meanings for different people.
I have to admit that I did not read the books you are referring to, but now they are on my list – curiosity .
It is most amazing and intricate fantasy for such an early age. Thank you for sharing.

[jaeangel]

P.S. jaeangel - that first fantasy you posted - crikey, you could make that into a novel! It's so detailed and intricate for such an early fantasy.

Well...yes, I guess it was...i guess we all know why I'm becoming a writer! (I'm working on my third full-length novel right now, and it's the first one I've thought actually might have a hope of getting published. It's not BDSM, though, it's a regular historical fiction. Does involve rape and torture though, if only in a glossed-over, nonspecific way.)
But I 'bloomed' early; I had breasts at six (or rather, mosquito bites) and got my first period at seven. By the time i was ten my hormones were in full swing. I started regularly masturbating at twelve. I was raped at fourteen by my 18 year old boyfriend, who took me out to a school dance and drugged me into having sex. If he'd asked, i would have consented, as long as he used a condom; but he didn't ask, and he didn't use a condom. So I had to have an abortion after that; well, I wasn't physically, emotionally, or mentally capable of caring for a child then. I know the abortion debate's been done to death, but considering my age and the fact that I was drugged, i had a good reason. I do feel guilty abut it sometimes, for all those who are about to launch into a vitriolic denunciation of my choice; but it was the only choice I could have made at the time.
Thank you for the compliments!

[jaeangel]

Most of the book I didn't like; it was grittily realistic and in its own way very depressing. It wasn't really the book, it was just...the whole idea of sexual slavery, i guess; the fact that sex could be ritualized and brought forward to that extent. The idea that women could go about wearing clothes that marked them as fuck toys, and nobody would say they were bad, or dirty.
My mother was a strict, traditional Korean mother, my father a very strict Irish Catholic, and sex was a taboo topic in the house. I actually didn't know what a 'period' was for until two years after it started; I hid it from my mother for a whole year before she found out, because I was afraid of her reaction if I spoke about something happening to me 'down there'. She just bought me pads, showed me how to put it in my panties, and said, 'It's normal.' My older sister didn't get her period until she was fourteen, so I couldn't even ask her that; we didn't get along anyway. And nobody else in my class, or anyone I knew, had it. i was ashamed to ask the school nurse, cause that sort of thing i thought was supposed to be told you by your mother, not a stranger. And when they started sex ed courses in school (you might remember that you had to get signed permission slips to take sex ed in those days) and my mother never signed those slips. I spent sex ed in the library doing homework and reading. I didn't have an actual sex ed course until my senior year in high school, when I took the little pink slip Mom refused to sign and forged her name to it (well, I was eighteen, I thought i was old enough to make my own choices by then) and listened to the teacher repeat the stuff I'd already learned from the books I'd read. It was redundant, by that point; but informative, all the same. And it counted as a Physical Education credit, which i needed because i failed gym the first semester.
Okay, I'm rambling. That was too much info. Thanks for listening anyway!

[redEva]

Made me feel for you, made me gasp at the ignorance and brutality, made me laugh, thank you jaeange for sharing your experiences with us.
There is few things that amazes me in this day and age, and one of them is “to much information”! There is still way to many people out there that are to stick up to talk to about life. I hope this forum is not being perceived that way. You are welcome to talk to us here – or in private – it is always refreshing to meet interesting people.
Looking forward reading more from you. *smile*

[jaeangel]

slavelucy, it's rather odd that you would mention turning that fantasy into a novel, because when I first read this thread it got me to thinking about my early fanatsies. I picked out this one and started writing. I have two chapters done. Then I decided to post to this thread, saw the reaction, and i wondered if you'd like to read it. If so, please send me an email at baemaminski@msn.com and I'll send you what I have. And, redEva, if you'd like to read it too, feel free. And anyone else, of course. I won't guarantee it will become a novel (novel=70,000+ words) but it will beome a multi-chapter piece. I kind of lost interest in it, because I didn't think it was very good, but if you like it I'll probably continue. I'm currently working on another piece of BDSM fic for a couple of other people titled 'Slave Daughter', and on my full-length historical novel 'Knight and Squire' but I think I could squeeze another project in.
Please let me know if this is something you might be interested in. I do write, and have been considering posting some of my stuff to the Library, but i don't know if my stuff is good enough. I'd appreciate feedback.
Thank you for listening!

[LaJan]

Great story! I really got started with "recycled" Playboys and Penthouses, too. I saved some of them to this day and the ones like Billy Carter's interview and John Lennon's last interview usually impress even the women I know. ("See honey? I do read the articles!"). My friends and I used to discuss the Forum section of Penthouse and, from time to time, I was asked to loan one. It was years later that I discovered why...

I started fantasizing about being submissive when I was 13...
angelpet

[angelpet]

Great story! I really got started with "recycled" Playboys and Penthouses, too. I saved some of them to this day and the ones like Billy Carter's interview and John Lennon's last interview usually impress even the women I know. ("See honey? I do read the articles!"). My friends and I used to discuss the Forum section of Penthouse and, from time to time, I was asked to loan one. It was years later that I discovered why...

I did not get a chance to save any of the Playboys and Penthouses or even the stories that i tore out...but i do remember my younger brother asking one day as we were all sitting around bs'ing about the past..."I wonder who tore out a bunch of the stories in those magazines?" I just sat there with this sly smirk on my face! hehehe

[LaJan]

ROTFLMFAO!!!

I did not get a chance to save any of the Playboys and Penthouses or even the stories that i tore out...but i do remember my younger brother asking one day as we were all sitting around bs'ing about the past..."I wonder who tore out a bunch of the stories in those magazines?" I just sat there with this sly smirk on my face! hehehe

[slavelucy]

slavelucy, it's rather odd that you would mention turning that fantasy into a novel, because when I first read this thread it got me to thinking about my early fanatsies. I picked out this one and started writing. I have two chapters done. Then I decided to post to this thread, saw the reaction, and i wondered if you'd like to read it.

Sure, would love to, i'll drop you an email.

sl

[himind]

My earliest fantasies that I remember involved a couple of my teachers from school.I'd imagine going to their home on some pretext or the other and then either mastering them or submitting them(depending on the particular teacher I was fantasizing about!). I also rememebr reading a report about some female who was raped by a doctor on the examining table and that became my fantasy for some while.One thing I do remember clearly is that I always dreamed about submitting to the kind of female who would never attract me in real life

[sme6068]

I am new to this board and have been reading this thread for a few days, so here goes.

My first sexual fantasies began when I was 12 going on 13. I was walking back from the beach which was only a couple of blocks from my house. In the parking lot behind the beach house was an old van with about four rather scruffy looking men hanging around it. One of them pointed to me and called, "Hey little girl come on over here!" A second one laughed and started walking toward me, I was only about 100 feet away or so. I turned and ran as fast as I could toward home.

Nothing actually happened, but that night the "what if" fantasies began. I had no real sexual experience at that time, or for a couple of years to follow, but those fantasies fueled my adolescent brain. Bondage, spankings, forced prostitution. Every time I learned something new about sex, or sex practices, I would imagine it in my evolving fantasies.

Even today those old fantasies can get a strong reaction. I have tried writing stories, and even put one on here, but I am not very good as an author.

sandy

[Kallie Thomas]

Interesting question. Actually I used to, and I still occasionally do, fantasize about men. I mean a man dominating another man, no females involved. Even before I understood what sex (intercourse) was that was a fantasy of mine.

Wow, same here--I remember being 12 years old and fantasizing about boys/men being dominated/raped. It's still something that gets me off.

My first fantasies? Wild, bondage-type things. I remember being 7 years old and imagining everything from kidnapping/tight bondage/torture to being (don't laugh) caught up in a giant spider's web (think Shelob), totally caught up as the beast approaches. While these fantasies did create sexual feelings, they didn't take on an openly sexual tone until I was 11-12.

Kallie

[TheDarkOne]

Hmmm, early fantasies, eh? Well, for me it's hard to remember, but I remember very clearly that I at an early age (10-13 or something) became aroused when seeing people in movies on TV and such bound, captured or forced to do things against their will and my fantasies evolved from those things and ended up with me being the one with the fantasies I have today, I guess .

[GoldenGirl]

i can remember being about 7 or 8ish and fantasizing about being kidnapped n forced to do work n such but i never relay fought it.hmmm.. n the being burned with like cigarette buts and being tied up to sleep... later on these fantasy's just turned to wanting just to be tied up and bound and then when i was like 13 or 14 i actually started to tie myself to my bed rails to sleep with ace bandages n pretend that someone was making me sleep like that n such

[himind]

I remember reading The Wizard of Oz and getting excited when Dorothy had to slave for the witch.Even while playing cops and robbers I would prefer to be the robber who was tied up(if I played the cop,I would tie up my friends too tightly!)

[whippedcream]

My earliest fantasies were about Catwoman. Until I knew about sex, it all centered on capture and whatever sexual tortures my young brain could come up with (I didn't know what a pussy was good for, so the poor kitty only had things done to her chest and tushy). She'd be exposed, humiliated by a bunch of male thugs, slapped around. Rescued by Batman, which for the longest time was the end of the fantasy. As soon as I had the bright idea to *include* boys, all of a sudden cooperative torments could be used. Catwoman, Batman, and sometimes Robin would be in superhero training camp together. They'd do delightfully nasty things to each other because "you have to get used to it," and afterwords would cheer each other up with what passed for sex in my head (I still wasn't really clear on which direction penises point in).

The first group fantasy excercise was when one of my like-minded friends and I got the bright idea in fourth grade to join forces and play Barbies together. We concocted some evil Barbie countess who bound and tortured her beautiful Barbie slaves. Until my mom found one under my bed still tied up and wearing nothing but a crotch rope. We weren't allowed to play together much after that....

[Curtis]

My sister and I used to do that! Age 6 or 7, I guess. We'd twist toilet paper into ropes to tie up Barbie and Skipper. Sometimes we'd make them paper lingerie, then use a magnifying glass to try (unsuccessfully) to set their undergarments on fire.

Aah, good times!

[whippedcream]

My sister and I used to do that! Age 6 or 7, I guess. We'd twist toilet paper into ropes to tie up Barbie and Skipper. Sometimes we'd make them paper lingerie, then use a magnifying glass to try (unsuccessfully) to set their undergarments on fire.

Aah, good times!

Hahaha toilet paper is a great idea! We used hair scrunchies, or lanyard if we could get our hands on craft supplies. Washable markers made great lash-lines, too, for realism's sake. But we had to remember to wash it off afterwards.

[zig]

Washable markers made great lash-lines, too, for realism's sake. But we had to remember to wash it off afterwards.

Glad I'm not the only one who did that! My marker never did come off that Barbie, though. I had also cut all her hair off (as punishment) and strung her upside down from my window-hangings. Wonder if my parents ever saw that?

[redEva]

My sister and I used to do that! Age 6 or 7, I guess. We'd twist toilet paper into ropes to tie up Barbie and Skipper. Sometimes we'd make them paper lingerie, then use a magnifying glass to try (unsuccessfully) to set their undergarments on fire.

Aah, good times!

candy for you Curtis, my friend

[Curtis]

VERY nice! If her chest was smaller, I'd like to have her life-sized. Would you please PM me with the name of the site where you found that (so the thread doesn't drift any further)?

Curtis loooves candy!

[GaryWilcox]

VERY nice! If her chest was smaller, I'd like to have her life-sized.

Try HERE.

[caligatia]

Earliest fantasy -- the first Star Wars movie -- Leia and the torture droid. I was two or three.

Next Star Wars fantasy -- Empire Strikes Back -- Han Solo getting tortured by Vader. I was five.

Last SW scene -- I was Slave Leia (droooool) and was forced to have sex with the green-skinned dancing girl in front of Jabba's whole court. I was eight for that one.

There were other fantasies -- Ken had hoardes of slave Barbies, I started stealing Mom's trashy romances and searching them for rape or bondage scenes -- but the SW ones were my favorites.

When I was 12 I discovered Anne Rice's Beauty trilogy.... Mmmmmm.

[caligatia]

Oh, and women liking to watch/read about/fantasize about two guys in bed together is hardly unusual. Just look at the slash fiction so many fanfic authors generate...!

[Sunshine]

We used to heat the largest magnets we had on the radiators until they were as hot as we could get them and then press them into our pussys as hard as we could........ It worked for us then!

[MasterRJ]

The earliest I remember is Barbie having 'naked parties' with Ken. But this was before kindergarten to my knowledge of sex wasn't up to snuff. I remember being a little under ten and watching a girl the same age as me sleeping at our house on the couch with her sister. Both of 'em, just flopped on top of each other snoozin' like a pair of angels. That got me thinking. Not much in that line, though, until I picked up hentai which was when I was like 13 or something.

[badspyro]

hi,
My first thoughts were of women in corsets, or occationaly me in one. Don't ask me why, it just was.... Then, after a german trip with school, and a wonder round a medevil castle, with a breef explanation of what that leather thing on the wall was (a chastity belt), i dived in, and lost what little inocence I had left...
badspyro