Why are so many BDSM girls fat and ugly??

[Master_chris]

mmm nice bum, with a great body to boot

[b9dom]

Fat and ugly? Who are you to say that fat is a liability in a woman's attractiveness? For many men - Doms (including myself) and others - large proportions are a distinct asset. The term "ugly" is so objective it's unreal - and it means that those who use that word are blind to the inner beauty of soul and spirit which lies inside so many who don't fit into the fashion-model 'norm' of beauty.
I will not trade insults, but I would gently suggest that you get real.

[Mnemonic]

Ok I haven't posted allot on this forum yet but i've just signed up for a week and I've been thinking about this now so here goes my 2 cents, I dont want to offend people its just my opinion.

First of all appearance does count, i'm 20 years old and I work as quite a succesfull model so I know the importance of looks in our society, therefore I could never have sex with a woman wich im unattracted to. I am a perfectionist wich doesnt always works for me. However there are allot of girls that have the attractive looks but still are ugly ass hell, this is because of the inside of the woman, her personality, wich is reflected on her outside in the way she shines/looks/walks/drinks/laughs etc. (dont know the English word for this).

I'm gonna take this into more of a biological level. Appearance is a way for a woman to tell a man her genes are good. That is why we "the Western World" like thin peope and people in South Africa like fat woman (or men works the other way around as well). This is because in africa having fat shows that u can take care of urself and in the Westen countries it shows the opposite. This is a known and scientific fact wich has been studied. Woman also get more of an ) ( shape when they are futile and ready to mate, us men take this up in our unconciousness and find here more attractive at that moment.
And are more likely to have sex or flirt with her at those days. This is also affected by the psycological state of a persons mind. If a person feels not well they tend to reflect that in their clothing and care for their own body, that is why slim people are looked upon as more succesfull people.

I hope that explains why we (generally) like slim people over fat people on a deeper level...

Now why do I think the're allot of girls into bdsm fat?? First of all I think this is quite overstated but its a fact there are a little more fat people into bdsm then into regular sex.
I think the age is to blame, most girls on the net here are way into their fourties, by then woman get a bit fatter because of age, this is normal and happens with all woman. Yes even the "casual sex" type woman.

Here's the real point, I personally am 20 and attractive however I've not engaged into bdsm to this day. I've been interrested and have read websites since i was twelve though. I've done a bit of bondage (like 2 times soft bondage) but its quite a step to take at such a young age, u doubt if ur toughts are normal and stuff so u keep it to the regular sex. When u mature u will be more open to it and it doesnt matter as much anymore if u'r liked by other girls and woman (or men) the way it does on highschool and beyond. Then u want to fullfill what u always wanted, how u wanted to live ur life. But how do u do this, this is something I dont know how to do, how do u tell the girl u love u want to tie her up and dominate her.. and how to get her into it if she's not? Maybe she'll just think u are a weirdo and leave u. By that tiime u probably have a long term relationship u dont want to waste that easily.

I myself have a beautifull girlfriend wich is not into bondage wich I told her I like, I didnt told her I like bdsm cause she freaked out totally just about handcuffs. So im finding a hard time convincing her.

On the net u are sure the person u meet is interrested in bdsm what would he/she do on this boards anyway?? That makes it easier for woman who lost their relationship but want a bdsm 1 to find it online. Its a shame the're only US sites for this though cause iim from the netherlands

So here u got it, u'll find mostly woman on the net who are old enough to liuve up to their fantasies and woman who are seeking a man wich is into domination for sure. This also happens at high age because its kinda scary when ur just 18.


Last point, the're allot of sites featuring very beautifull girls into bondage, these are models but i've read somewhere in a thread they do this just for money is this true?? U think they dont like bdsm? Why dont they just do regular sex sites then?? Can somebody please explain??

I hope I clarified my opinion.. I did not mean to offend any1

Gerben de Oude

[fetish101]

Mnemonic, you have some very good points, and I agree with you that older (sorry everybody, but I'm 20 and 40 years old is kinda old...) people generally do have a much more grounded sense in what their desires are in life. that's not to say that younger people can't have the same type of awareness, but I think it is fair to note that people with more experience in the subject of sexuality would be more equipped to deal with issues such as bdsm. As far as your last point/question about models on American porn sites that appear to be doing it only for the money, I believe that is an accurate observation for the average porn star. However, I would suggest to you that you should check out any of the sites put out there by CyberNet Entertainment LLC (hogtied.com, meninpain.com, whippedass.com, wiredpussy.com, waterbondage.com etc..). I am convinced that the women (and men) that star on those sites are truly into bdsm and the like, and also would be considered main stream attractive (in the slim sense).

Man, this thread. Talk about flogging a dead horse!!

[yellowrose]

First off *spanks Fetish for calling her old*

Sorry Fetish I couldn't resist.

Mnemoric is right to a certain extent. Looks do matter. As much as we like to deny this fact it does. As we get older though I believe that our minds do change and what was attractive to us at 20 (or our more reproductive years) and what is attractive to me at 41 is vastly different. While I can appreciate a young mans look I find that I am not attracted to young men. Honestly I have trouble seeing a young man as my equal. Wow that doesn't sound quite right when written down but I assure you it was not meant like it sounds. They just don't have the life experience that older men have.

An advantage of age is that you have been there and done that and now off to explore new areas that many young folks haven't the time or emotional maturity to consider. I am not talking strictly D/s nor is this in any way a insult to the younger folks. Just that priorities and a persons focus changes over time. Young people are doing what they are biologically programmed to do, find a good reproductive partner. Even if reproduction isn't what they are after the mind (or basic instinct) doesn't know or care. The last thing I look for in a man is his reproductive capabilities. Personality, maturity, stability are far more important.

I can only speak for myself. I suspect that men due to their ability to reproduce at any age don't go through as great of a mind shift as females. It would make sense to me that the basic instinct would remain intact to a greater extent in males because of this and therefore looks would matter more to them.

A few old sayings:

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

One mans treasure is another mans junk.

[slavelucy]

Man, this thread. Talk about flogging a dead horse!!

LOL. Yeah. In addition, i'm ashamed to admit, the only idea/sentiment/thought/emotion this thread has ever inspired in me is amusement at the very phrase 'BDSM Girls' as used in the title...for some reason, it really tickles my funny bone...i know not why, there's something so very..*thinks*..primitive and naive about it....that and the fact that it reminds me of the golden girls for kinky folk.

*continues to grin inanely*

i need to get out more.

sl

[quietlycuffed]

ok, so this is my first post, and from my name well this might not have been the best topic for me to reply to.....


FAT?????....urrrrrrrrgggggghhhh..

ok, i may not be a beauty queen, but i am far from fat.. in fact i would venture to say that since the average size of a women is a size 12...most women on her fall somewhere relatively close to that size...

i am a little smaller, but not much..

now... about the men on here....***grins an evil grin***

are you all 35 185lbs, have a nice full head of hair???hmmmmmm???..think not...ok then... perhaps you are in fact looking in all the wrong places, or at pictures, instead of real live honest to goodness women...

i thought this was a place to come to find someone who compliments you..if one person or another does not do that, then move on, why criticize?, why stoop to a level as low minded as to make someone else feel small?, just to boost your own self worth?.

ok, my rant is done, i really am a nice quiet.. well ok, maybe not quiet..
a nice young lady with a mind of her own.. and no problem speaking whats on my mind. hahaha but then again, you asked the question....

[ProjectEuropa]

now... about the men on here....***grins an evil grin***

are you all 35 185lbs, have a nice full head of hair???hmmmmmm???..think not...ok then... perhaps you are in fact looking in all the wrong places, or at pictures, instead of real live honest to goodness women...

Uh-um slightly older than 35, weeelll a little more than slightly older with a birthday arriving like a car crash on Thursday but other than that, weighing in at 167 pounds at 5'8". Hair..hmm..thinning slightly on top. I'm pretty average all round..yep, all round. How is that for honesty?

I thought one of the things about the internet is that one can be who one wants. Oh well, I find it difficult to lie, it's just easier not to tell the truth!

Welcome!

[quietlycuffed]

thanks for the welcome!!

i agree, the annonimity is nice, especially if you are exploring and learning.
but he was so adomant about someone's appearance, that i thought a reminder or two would be helpful

it is one thing to present yourself one way, and another to be able to show yourself as you really are. in the case of weight, if you are ever going to meet, you will see this for yourself, so being upfront is the best choice i would think.

and since there are people here who are looking to meet eventually, i would hope that honesty was more the norm, not the exception.

thanks again for the welcome, sorry, if i was on a soapbox, being snowed in has made me a tad grumpy i think

[GaryWilcox]

I really, really hate this thread. I understand why it was left up. I hate it anyways.

And, out of our own regulars, I can name 10 dead-sexy women on this forum, right off of the top of my head.

Twenty, if I put my thinking cap on.

[slo18]

I dont know if this is the actual stat but I do know its close something along the lines of 54% of amrican women are size 14 or larger but being a pluse size doesnt mean u are ugly marilin monroe was a size 14 betty page was a large woman and they are both still concindered two of the greatest sex simbols of all time. Fat doesnt mean ugly, and whats ugly to one person isnt to another.

as for personality not showing though online I dont believe that, I think that its a matter of time, if its someone u are concidering meeting, its someone u have talked to for a long time if it isnt then u arnt being safe. when u talk to someone for a year or so I feel like u can get pretty good idea of there personality. but again all of this is just my opinion take it as u will

[alura]

I like the way that you think. Time is just that. Time. And if it is REAL, time is just a pesky element you have to get past to find the love of your life.

when u talk to someone for a year or so I feel like u can get pretty good idea of there personality. but again all of this is just my opinion take it as u will

[Gallardo]

This thread has been here forever and it never interested me much but I had more free time today than usual...reading backwards from the last page, I finally stopped at Mnemonic's post since he brought up the point I had in my mind when I began reading. I refuse to believe there is no Spaniard into the lifestyle so they must all be lurking. So correct me if I am wrong but I believe the Spanish culture consider fat like any other physical characteristic such as having red hair, flat feet, etc. It is by no means an insult, just a matter of fact. In this spirit, I agree with those that this thread is like "flogging a dead horse".

Ugly is a different story. But that's just the flip side of beauty. Perhaps we can all discuss the beauty of women versus machine? And yes, I pick machine =P

[angel_in_disguise]

i am new here, and browsing through i found this thread... now, i haven't read all of the posts, but i did want to post this story, it isn't my work, but one that was sent to me via email a while ago, though i have no idea of te original author... the original poster of this thread reminds me of the jerks in this story...


The Best That He Could Do

The munch had ended in the usual way, With good friends saying their good- bye's in the parking lot. The Doms and the subs, each bidding the other farewell, With exchanged numbers, hugs and soft knowing smiles. No clues for an outsider to spot.

There were a few new faces to be found this time. A couple of the type that the old Doms knew too well. Vanilla's, out looking for quick, easy sex. The sort that you could in an instant smell.

They had been identified, tolerated, and closely watched. The subs warned and had been scurried away. But as they left, one had to shoot off his mouth, And say to his friend that which he had ought not to say.

"Did you get a load of that one guy's sub? Talk about a load of fat. I half expected her to moo. I thought that subs were supposed to be slim, You know, easy on the eyes. Is that the best that guy can do?"

The sub heard the words as did her Master. And she knew that this insult he would not abide. She raised her head to the stars above, And prayed that this night might not end in homicide.

She watched him approach them silently from behind, Unheard as they continued to laugh and rail. And as he reached out and grabbed each, by the scruff of the neck, She wondered if there was enough in the bank to cover his bail.

"The best I could do?" He said with a snarl in his voice.
As he held their heads tight in the crook of each arm. "You see only the body, I, the woman within, And you should be grateful, for that woman wishes, That I do you no harm."

"The worth of a submissive is the fire in her soul. The service...the submission...the love. Yet you would defile that flame with cheap tawdry jokes? I tell you, you know nothing of what you speak."

"You came to this gathering in search of quick kinky sex. Not knowing or caring what else there may be here to find. But a submissive is a gemstone, a pearl beyond price. And her submission is not in her body, But her heart, soul and mind."

"Now leave this gathering, this family of Leather and love. And bother us no more with your ignorance and your lies.
Be thankful that you leave with your tails tucked, but intact.
But first to my sub, you shall apologize."

They quickly did as he did bid, to the teary eyed sub. With the little her Master allowed them in the way of breath. They realized their words had touched a raw open nerve. And save for her wishes, this night they may well have met with their deaths.

As they roared away into the dark of the night. That same Family of Leather stayed to insure that all was as it should be. The Doms in their leathers, the subs at their sides. Proudly together in a special and eternal way.

"They were right my pet, about one thing. Though to them it was cast as pearls before swine. A tiny glimmer of truth, which they could not see. That you should know, if I am to call you mine."

"What truth, my Master?" said the still teary eyed sub. As he held her head tight upon his chest. For she knew that whatever storms may come her way, In his arms could she find safety and rest.

Her Master turned to their friends, all still gathered round. As he said, "I say this not just to her, but to all of you. This woman that I hold...that I cherish, and love...They were right....She is the BEST that I could do."

[Controlled_Girl]

Nice to hear I am fat and ugly hehe

[Neopadinski]

We're talking about TALKING to girls? I apologize. I should've specified that I was referring to just pictures on websites. As for "girls" in chat rooms-unless I have met this person in real life, and they themselves gave me that screen name, I never take their word on what they look like-even if they supply a seemingly legitimate photograph(s). Hell, I used to cyber with my girlfriend on nights we didn't bother to see each other-and she's the only one I've ever done it with. That's because I don't like the idea of the sweaty plumber named Tina.
As for pictures, I like them because you can use your imagination in regards to how the girl got into the situation she's currently in.

PS-I might add, if asked to meet someone in person, it would never be for the agreement of sexual activity, for the reason Mobius said-it could be a police officer posing as a little twelve year old girl that's posing as an eighteen year old girl. Hey, it could happen.

[burger_01]

I can't believe this thread exists

[mutt]

does it matter anyway?? BDSM is for the mind and spirit physical beauty is in the eye of the individual

[Neopadinski]

Hehe, I guess in my long, mindless rants I failed to being up that point. Go me!

[pam]

What constitutes "fat"? I've seen men say that women who are 20 lbs overweight are cows? I have customers (and I don't deal in the BBW fetish area) who tell me 300 lb women aren't fat to them.

Ugly? What is ugly? I don't consider myself attractive but not many women would if they had to compare themselves to the Jennifer Lopez' or Britney Spears' of the world.

Having said that, I've known a lot of dominant men in my life (known doesn't mean intimately, could mean via correspondence!) and many choose bigger women. A lot of bigger women have self-esteem problems (raises hand) but many don't. Some men just prefer more meat on the bones.

I recently talked with a so-called dominant male who told me he liked women over 250 lbs as he really enjoyed watching their bodies jiggle.

I see no problem with that

[MrJerseyGuy]

I don't know what ManWhore is basing the observation on...but I gotta tell ya,

My sub and love of my life is 5'3" 100 pounds and gorgeous with one of those bright white smiles that most people have to pay big bucks for. She is the one who got me into the "lifestyle" You could have knocked me over with a feather the first time she asked me to tie her up and beat her stupid!

I don't know what the "norm" is...but they are certainly not all fat and ugly!

[Curtis]

*sigh* Okay, one more time...

ManWhore is basing his observation on whatever he feels will stir up the biggest fuss. He almost certainly doesn't believe what he writes, he just knows what pushes peoples' buttons. So, he kicks the ant hill and laughs his ass off watching us all scurry about.

[Count_DUQ]

I personally love a woman what ever her size or shape... I enjoy the fun I can have and being big just means (in some cases) she is harder to damage. As sometimes I love to instill that little reminder for the next day. Tell me if I you think Im wrong but big is ok with me and more fun.

[fetish101]

This community is a minority. Why is it a minority, because it is not mainstream. Something should be taken from those two statements....

Mainstream beauty is basically the annorexic, or damn near it, girls that sell magazines. Why is there so many of them in mainstream literature/publications? Because you have a bigger sample population to draw from!!

Come on people, if 90 percent of people are "vanilla", and 90 percent of people think the incredibly skinny girl is the epitome of sexy, then that's what you're gonna see in mainstream publications.

My argument is that yes, perhaps you do see more pics on the internet (other that mainstream sites like hogtied.com) with girls that have a "little bit more to offer", but really, is this anything more than you should reasonable expect?

I think that because bdsm deals with a minority it will inherently have less "magazine perfect" girls to draw from to take pictures of.

If this bothers you terriblly, well then there are people out there that will, for the right price, take the pictures you want with the type of models you want, provided it's not something too fucked up like snuff or something similar (yeah I know there are people out there who will even take those pics..but let's not get into that kinda crap).

anyways, this is just my opinion, others should give theirs, and I'm interested what other people think on this subject.

[woodsman'sgame]

Ok not sure where to post this, but I guess this is as good a place as any.

I was reading a story last night that was written fairly well. I was enjoying it, but I got to a line that set my teeth on edge it infuriated me so much. I quit reading the story. The line was talking about an older woman who was 5 feet 8 inches and mentioned how she had never lost the weight she had gained from her pregnancy. The woman weighed 140 pounds and the reader was given the impression that she was overweight!
A woman who measures 5 feet 8 inches and weighs 140 pounds is not overweight!!!!! GEEZ! In my book and Woodsman's, she is probably too thin.

Just what is fat? What do Americans consider fat? I don't understand it.

This perverted (in my opinion) notion of beauty is why my daughter starves herself and is self conscious about her weight, even though she is beautiful and much too thin as far as I am concerned. She walks down the street and 95% of the males turn to look at her in awe (I have observed this), yet she thinks she is too heavy. Damn it!

OK That's my rant. I'm still angry.

[BDSM_Tourguide]

Originally posted by woodsman'sgame
A woman who measures 5 feet 8 inches and weighs 140 pounds is not overweight!!!!! GEEZ! In my book and Woodsman's, she is probably too thin.

Someone must have been reading a health chart. 140# is the "ideal weight" for a woman of 5'8" tall.

A woman of that height and weight isn't going to be rail thin or anything, but she's still going to be thin. It's when they're 5'10" and 120# that they get to be ridiculously skinny.

[Finding_Fantasy]

Well, I am 5'8" and I used to be 160lbs. and I thought I looked pretty good. You couldn't see any bones sticking outbut I didn't have rolls either. Of course that was back when most of the jobs I had were physical ones.

Anorexia sacres the hell out of me. I had a friend that was anorexic. When she died, she was about 70lbs. Every possible place of her body was covered in cancer, her ahir was brittle and her skin (shudders) And you know how she started?

She was a daddy's girl. She adired her father and would do anything to remain perfect in her eyes. One day, they were walking down the street and they saw a mother and daughter.. The daughter was obese. He said "No daughter of mine will ever be fat." It was shortly there after that she stopped eating. Now anorexia is a disease but it was triggered by her father's comment and her desire to remain perfect for him.

Frankly, I find it disgusting. I remember when I was in school it was disgusting to be considered skinny. My brother desperatly wanted to gain weight because he was so skinny. Unfortunately his was genetic and no matter how much he ate he stayed skinny.


I took the liberty of scanning a cartoon clipping I got from our paper nearly a year ago. I think it is pretty on topic. It is two little girls looking at some overlyskinny models/maniquins.

[Dari]

IRT finding fantasy:

I really like that cartoon
just makes me unhappy to be already grown up

[redEva]

Statistics… yeah – such a bendable science!

The fact IS that North America has the highest obesity rate. The fact IS that most people (in and out of this lifestyle) have issues to deal with. The FACT is that beauty is in the eye of beholder!

Our little community here is diverse and I am proud to say mostly tolerant! If you don’t like it here – there is plenty of other sites to go to. “porn sites where the girls have respectable bodies” are just that! Porn sites with models. Would I like to look like Opearl, Dita or Ashley – you can bet your private parts I would. Unfortunately not everyone is made to look like that.

BDSM is about Power exchange in loving and trusting relationship. So IF we work some of our demons out there – why is that wrong?

[BDSM_Tourguide]

2. There will be NO negative personal comments about ANY of the pictures posted here. The first time I read something like: "Look how fat she is" or "Oh my god! They let that out of the cage?!" then you're gone. No explanations, no excuses, you and all your posts will be deleted. These are real people making some real steps and some hard decisions to go out on a limb and post material that is close to home for them. Anyone threatening the sanctity of that trust and this confidence will be damned in my eyes and could suffer no worse fate than to burn in the inequity of lesser sites and cheap masturbatory hell. In other words, if you fuck with the people courageous enough to post in this thread, I will fuck with you!

Nice of you to drop by, Incubus. Sorry you can't stay.

P.S. Whipit. Stop trying to get in here. Go find some other people to irritate.