So, I went to my first munch...

[kisskinky]

im speaking from inexperiece but there was no dress code at the munch i went to yesterday, so this obviously isnt an across the board thing, surely. id say 9 out of 10 people there had jeans on or were dressed casually. probably a case of finding out about particular dress codes for particular munches and id imagine this would depend on venue, time of day, country, individual organisers and so on. as a newbie, i would not have felt comfortable going to the munch if everyone had to be dressed a certain way because i simply wouldnt know where to start!

[ceegee{Benz}]

Most Munches take place in the evenings but some are gatherings at lunchtimes....and generally those are casual wear...inc jeans. I was refering to those evening munches/socials.

My local "munch" is on the sunday of every month in a pub and starts at 1pm where there are famiies eating their Sunday lunches lol. So the dress attire has to blend in with that venue (they really dont want grannies and kids choking on stuffing balls!!!! LOL)
Another local munch within the area has a really strict dress code. black dress for the men and all out for the women inc nudity if so wished but under no circumstances no jeans or trainers.

As I said before all depends on the venue

ceegee

[cadence]

Sounds rather petty to me.

The whole point of a munch is to learn more about the lifestyle by talking to others who live it. also to help you on your journey..regardless whether your partner is in the lifestyle or not.
I have been in this lifestyle real time for 9 years now and been with Benz for 3 years, and every day I learn more and more. The day you stop learning is the day you quit it or die.
Every munch or social you go to there are new people there, like minded people who wish and want to learn about the lifestyle. not just to "play".
They were def being hasty with their decission or being rather selfish and was a clicky group to start with.

I hope your experiance has not put you off in attending one again

ceegee

I will say that they did hinder me from ever attempting to go again.

Now that I have a better perspective on things, and armed with more knowledge, I will eventually attend one in the future.
I know now that I will not be bullied by others with narrowminded thinking.

I doubt that I will choose a local one, but do know of other places close enough to where I live that I can attend.

[ceegee{Benz}]

Am glad it has not put you off at all....smiles

[gloombunny]

Another local munch within the area has a really strict dress code. black dress for the men and all out for the women inc nudity if so wished but under no circumstances no jeans or trainers.

Not only dress codes, but double-standard dress codes?

I just threw up a little in my mouth.

[tessa]

BTW, that "domly" glint glowed in my husband's eyes a little brighter last night, I think he may be turning the corner from "I'll try this because you want me to" to "okay, I'm getting off on this". Yeah!

~claps and giggles and hugs jeanne~

I am so happy for you!!! Isn't that look just the BEST!

~hugs agan just 'cause~

Glad to hear you're warming up.

tessa

[tessa]

I just threw up a little in my mouth.

~hands Natalie some ginger ale~ So sorry you aren't feeling well.

Maybe the different dress code is a reflection of that particular group. If the group members all agree to it, well good for them. One of the local munches here meets for lunch in a family-style restaurant, so relaxed casual is the dress code, for both genders.

Different strokes and all.

tessa

[jeanne]

cadence - do try again, it's just like anything other group of people - some groups are more or less open to newcomers. Since I will not be attending play parties unless my husband decides that is something we will do (I expect hell to freeze over long before that happens ) I'll never be a "fully participating" member of the group whose munch I attended. But, I did not get the impression that it was a requirement. You have given me food for thought though, so I'll probably ask one of the officers of the group if play party attendance is expected of those who want to attend munches regularly.

Benz and ceegee - thanks so much for adding your information and voices of experience to this thread. For myself, attending the munch was so fraught with emotions (anticipation, curiosity, fear, desperation to meet other submissives, discomfort) that I was worried that I would behave inappropriately or rudely without realizing it. I did lots of research about munches in general and studied the guidelines, many times, for this particular munch that the group posted on the internet.

Here are my thoughts on the sometimes stringent guidelines for attendance and behavior: Our sexuality and/or kink is so much a part of our innermost psyche and so directly tied to how we feel about ourselves, that revealing this to others may feel safer within a clearly defined context.

tessa - thanks for the hugs, I needed them! Realized Saturday morning that I need to be more cognizant of my word choices when thanking my husband - the word "sometimes" can definitely be misunderstood, depending on where you put it in the sentence! Otherwise, a great weekend! So today I am not only "well", I'm actually feeling really good. My insides are dancing around like dorkalicious' avatar...
Lots of hugs back to you!

[his_delilah (GS)]

BTW, that "domly" glint glowed in my husband's eyes a little brighter last night, I think he may be turning the corner from "I'll try this because you want me to" to "okay, I'm getting off on this". Yeah!

ROFL

I know the feeling...
Thank you for your advice.