Does it bother anyone to be told "good girl"?

[Arria]

Basically, it gives me the creeps to be called "girl" in real life, partly because I look younger than I am anyway, and I feel not being taken seriously/belittled/looked down upon...

My Dom is not into calling me that, either, and I never wanted it, anyway.

However, there are a very small number of the Dommish folk on here who have called me that... "good girl" or "little one"... and I found it made me feel all pleased and warm and fuzzy inside... coming from them, I like it a HUGE lot...

But I have found that there is pretty much nothing one really does not like or is not willing to do, granted one is with the right partner... so I have to say it really depends on the person who speaks to me.

[sinderella]

Does anyone say this to you? Do you like it? Dislike it? Are you indifferent? Suppose you really disliked it, and it was meant as a reward, would you say so, or try to accept it as it's given?

i luv it. it means i am pleasing Him in every possible way. i don't see anything humiliating in it at all. if i disliked it, i would not say anything because i know He meant it with love and tenderness. to me it is a very special endearment and urges me on to do even more things to please Him. i have found that accepting words as they are given is the wisest choice because sometimes i read things into words that are simply not there, to the detriment of our experience together.

[Ladymad]

When He calls me His 'good girl' my heart swells and it drives me crazy. I love it!

Sexually and emotionally a positively awesome statement...

[SirLs_leenie]

i am Master's girl, He refers to me as such, so to be His good girl is a GOOD thing!
Perhaps if you just try to focus on the fact your Dom is pleased with you enough to let you know might make it easier to hear.

[leah06]

Perhaps if you just try to focus on the fact your Dom is pleased with you enough to let you know might make it easier to hear.

Yes, in fact that's what happened. I had enough trouble with some other things that were required of me that I chose not to address this particular issue, and you're right, I stopped hearing the patronizing part of it, or perhaps I learned to like that. In any event, it certainly pleased me to please him.

He's long gone, but the lessons remain.

[love2serve]

MMMmm those two words - either spoken softly or sent in email or text can make me tingle with pride for hours

[love2serve]

Unless my husband says it at home - he does it to wind me up and it makes me want to scream at him. But when my Master says it the joy I feel is so intense, I smile for ages afterwards.

[sub_april]

Mmmm........ I loooooooooooooooooooove being called a good girl. I love it when my master calls me that

[satisfied]

Okay, i my humble opinion, the words that your Dom uses for you are only as good as your reaction to them. I personally love it when i've done something to please him and he tells me that i'm such a good girl. However, if hearing this does nothing for you then you should be open with your Dom and tell him that. If you are having a negative reaction to his words of praise then it is also bringing you out of sub space when he uses them, it takes away from your pleasure and no Dom worthy of having the title would want something like that for you. It would be a simple matter for him to find the right word that just makes you feel all warm and happy when you hear it. Communication is the key here, he is trusting you to tell him when something isn't right. Good luck.

[uncollared-katie]

i love being called "good girl" it makes me feel that i have been VERY pleasing... There is a Dom that i play with by phone sometimes and i love it when he says it

[hislilslut2008]

i love it when my Master calls me a "good girl" it means i really please him. and i usually get a kiss out of it tooXD
but when he says "good kitten" it melts me into his arms*floats to memory....* He's only said it once....
people here have mentioned "good slut", i enjoy being told that to a degree, espically in fornt of other people.

[fallenstar]

i love being called good girl... its rarely used so i know when he Does use it he Means it and he's pleased with me

[aussiesubgirl]

Does anyone say this to you? Do you like it? Dislike it? Are you indifferent? Suppose you really disliked it, and it was meant as a reward, would you say so, or try to accept it as it's given?

If I REALLY disliked any term that my Dom gave me I would say so after the scene and when I could say it in a way that was not charged with the negative emotion that was attached to the name - no point in ruining a perfectly wonderful scene for one phrase that has no power other than what I choose to give it...

I personally love 'good girl' when he says it to me inside and outside of the b'room....but would recoil if most other people used this term to describe or address me as it does have some obvious patronising connotations...but it does all depend on the tone. But I may not be the best judge...in Australia, sometimes the most horrible epithets are used to refer to each other ("How's it going ya old bat / cunt / bastard?!" are some of the cheery greetings that can be heard in any normal pub on a Friday night as old friends greet each other.....we all know that these names show us that you are loved and most of all accepted (we delight in teasing each other and giving the worst most degrading nicknames) but it ALL depends on the tone and delivery...if someone other than a close friend called us that, well....its WAR!

But if you don't like it, say so...end of. Gently provide him with an alternative name he can use that does do the right things to you (after all its meant as a reward) instead of making you feel uncomfortable....he wants to know your triggers (good and bad), and communication is the only way to do that....as I can see from most posts here, 95% of the subs here love the term 'good girl' when delivered by their Dom, so he may have no reason to believe this could cause you any conflict based on prior experience with other subs...

Life's too short to feel bad about 2 simple words...you can change it

xxx

PS but be prepared for him to bring it out when you do something wrong!!! hehehe

[aussiesubgirl]

Just read back through the rest of the posts and realised he is no longer in your life...but my thought remains the same, submissive does not mean that you cannot express a preference or communicate your wishes to a Dom....if you don't like it, and it has overtones you find uncomfortable (child abuse / degradation when you do not enjoy being degraded etc) then let him know...

xxx

well done for still wanting to explore the issues of the past, its the only way to move forward

[wyldrose]

this girl agrees that any praise is good praise- she likes knowing that she has pleased and done her job well. she feels that 'good girl' is affectionate and enjoys hearing it.
if she did not like it, she supposes that she would find some way to say so, although it may be difficult to bring up! its much better to share things in her opinion, rewards and punishment should work as intended.

[daddiespet]

i love being called good girl by Daddy
if it really bothered me i think He wouldn't call me that though

[fluffy]

I like a lot of ladies here am far from a girl (that was a long time ago)

when Mr B*****d calls me a good girl, its normally after bearing a length spank, usually im in such a state it registers and im hugely comforted.

its later when i replay it all in my head it bristles and prickles a bit.

i would never swap it.

[Mdv8ed]

Usually it bothers me yet makes me smile. My last dom used to say it to me when i did well but, being stubborn as i am, he knew it to push my buttons. It kept up with our very playful relationship of my no-I'm-strong-and-tough-...please-take-me

[Spankmeplease2009]

Well I am a guy so I would be called good boy.

I don't know. I don't dislike it but I much prefer being told I am bad or naughty.

[cherryatom]

If my dom is pleasing me I behave. If he does something I don't like I call him Mom. Just so he knows I don't like it. I don't pretend that this solves any problems but I think it lets him know where I stand. It's also a terribly immature way of dealing with it as it doesn't foster the communication between you and you have to be ready to accept the consequences.

[angelic.zest]

i really need to check the forums more often lol...anyway back on topic.

I love to be called a good girl, i grin like a silly fool after hearing it. even in the vanilla setting, i still love being called a good girl. Its a term of endearment for me, something that should that he cares enough to show his graditude to me...by calling me his good girl.

I give him the same reaction, a gentle smile and/or a silly grin.

[miners_girl]

I love being called good girl- Master tells me I glow when he says it. I always get a silly smile on my face when he does.

[erish]

i wrote my very first blog entry on this topic ... i simply adore being told those two words by my (Almost) Master - being told them in any other context is an entirely different matter, mind you - and miners_girl, 'glowing' is a great way to describe a response.

i think that part of it for me is that it takes me into a much less complicated place than my adult/"real" world life generally is. When i please my (Almost) Master, He tells me i am good. And it's that simple.

But yes, i 100% agree with those who are saying that if you don't like anything your Dom calls you intending affection, then let Him know outside of the play session. Just like negotiating lists for limits, things you want to try, things He won't do, etc etc ... words and phrases and language is so key to keeping things flowing easily when playing. i know that for me, His "good girl" and hair stroking lets me take much more from His crop or flogger than i would otherwise be able to endure. And that wouldn't be the case if the words didn't melt me so.

[kaerose13]

like many here, i absolutely melt when He calls me good girl. this usually happens through texts. . .so the dreamy vacant look that crosses my face and the sudden rush of heat can be a bit awkward in the middle of a class or meeting. for me the only words better than "good girl" is when He tells me what a good toy i am. *swoon*

He's never called me cunt or slut or any terms that are usually derogatory. i'm not completely sure, but i think i would have a big problem with them. if that happens i will let Him know i don't like it outside of playtime (that is if He can't tell from my reaction, i think He'll know).

[openlyrefined]

I love it!! I find it rewarding & comforting & I only ever get it if I truly earn the words. He says this so I know when I pleased him well.

If I didn't like it, I would ask Him to maybe call me something different because "Good Girl" sounds:
"condescending & makes me think I didn't really do a good job..." or "like you're talking to your dog..."
and suggest an alternative.

I would think most Dom's would prefer the feedback. Doms care about their subs & want for us to be happy too!

[love2serve]

Openlyrefined is absolutely right, its the way something is said. When Master says 'good girl' to me, it makes me feel as if I could burst with happiness and pride that I have pleased him, when my husband does it (and that is rare nowadays because after 20 years of marriage he has FINALLY got it into his thick head that it is condescending and annoying) it just makes me want to bark and wag my imaginary tail LOL - Its the same with slut, Kaerose said that slut and cunt would upset her if they were used by her master, but mine calls me slut all the time and I love it. If he says Good Morning and doesnt put slut on the end I miss it!! It always makes me smile. So I guess its different strokes for different folks think how boring life would be if everyone was the same!!!

[whisky44]

I love being told Im a good girl it lets me know he is being pleasured

[Sakura]

Does anyone say this to you? Do you like it? Dislike it? Are you indifferent? Suppose you really disliked it, and it was meant as a reward, would you say so, or try to accept it as it's given?

If it was said to me by my Dominant, then it wouldn't be that big of a deal.

Someone else, however, would get told of my displeasure.

[ravenbounduptight]

When i'm playing with a play partner, i love hearing it. i also love hearing "you're being a bad girl." When it's in that case it's part of the play and mind fuck for me.

When i'm in public not playing, it doesn't do anything for me. And depending on my mood it makes me either grin a good one, or slap Him.lol.

~j~

[brwneydgirl]

Does it bother me to be told I'm a "good girl"? Not in the least.

It pretty well rocks.