Body Size & Shape

[blythe spirit]

All that being said.....it's really not how a person looks on the outside. Well, it shouldn't matter anyway. The world would be a much better place if we all realized that.

Thank you for reiterating what I said.

[FatherTimejr]

thank you blythe. And hehe yes that is me, but its only from shoulders up and yeah i am overweight, im 6"1 or so and about 275 lbs. Working on getting to be about 250 I like being larger, but yeah...health issues ya know.

[goldendawn]

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person? i personally am not repelled by a person who is overweight at all. i am more attracted to their confidence level, their personality, if i feel safe with them, their strength of mind and spirit, if they are generous and loving...all these things and more add up to whether i find them physically attractive or not. At first glance i may or may not be attracted to someone who is overweight but it has to do with how they carry themselves, not with their weight.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person? Same answer as above, though when intimate, i do tend to like a little meat on the Mans bones. i like hugs and i like to "feel" well hugged, not saying a thin person doesn't give good hugs but i don't like to get bruised when being hugged either.

What body type attracts you most? If i had my way, stocky/muscular, any height above my own, however if i love the person, their body becomes my ideal as love tends to bring perfection to my eyes.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life? my body issues do not affect my love life at all. However, being a bit self conscious of my body, it has affected my sex life some. i tend to shy away from having the lights on or being in the open. i'm not an exhibitionist to begin with and am very shy as well but i think i would be less inhibited if i were to see in the mirror what i envision in my head.

What i have come to realize (just by answering these questions really) is that weight is just a small factor in the scheme of things. And it really should have no part in the lifestyle as it is changeable and offers a Dominant many opportunities to "be" Dominant and at the same time assisting the submissive to develop a good sense of health and body image, trust and self esteem etc. Attraction comes in many forms and most have nothing to do with a persons weight. So why do we sometimes feel that THAT is the one thing that may prevent us from becoming everything we wish to become?

Very few people i know are at their ideal weight. i am working towards mine, for my own confidence, my own health. It's not easy and it has taken me years to find a method that will work and be healthy at the same time. i've finally found the right combo for me. Am i losing the weight because i thought there was something wrong with me? Yes, i wasn't as healthy as i could have been and it was hurting my confidence because i let it. So i decided to do something about it. For no one else, but for me. If i had a Dominant in my home to lead me and push me towards my goal it would be easier but through the years i've not been with a Dominant who wanted that kind of control of me. It wasn't a jazzy enough topic in our lives to warrant the strength or attention needed.

Should you lose weight for someone else ? No, should you allow someone to help you if they care about you? Yes

[damyanti]

What is thin?

What is fat?

I have been called both anorexic and fat...while I was the same weight.

[jezabel]

What has amazed me is the prejudice ive seen on this thread against fat people, some of the words used like disgust, appalling are words ive had to deal with all my life....yes Im fat...but as far as Im concerned if u cant see past the fat and see the person within then youre not WORTH my knowing you.
Sorry it may seem a little harsh, but noone who comes on here would be considered "normal" in society and i had hoped that here i would be accepted for who i am not what i look like.....perhaps i was naive...looks like i was

[jezabel]

ive had this abuse, from many people, even on here believe it or not, just goes to prove that prejudice will rear its ugly head anywhere

[icey]

yea and its so f****g wrong! i have a friend who is the same height as me weighs over 12 stone more than me ...yes she's a very big girl.. and you know surprisingly she gets less remarks about her size than i do! all the time she goes on at me about being skinny etc (i wish lol) and believe me she can be very nasty about it friend or no friend! yet never ever have i once said anything about her body size and never would, i have other friends and relations who do the same too but i never say anything to them, i wouldnt want to hurt them.

to answer your question missconfused my avatar is me (unfortunately lol) and i think some other peoples are too, so i guess their body does approach their avatar

[MissConfused]

The only people who "talk" to me about my size are my sisters and my mother.
No one else seems to be concerned about it, not even my hubby.
As everyone has said thus far it is what you think and do with your body that determines your beauty.
My godmother weighs over 200 lbs and is only five feet tall yet she is one of the most beautiful women I know.

[MissConfused]

p.s. to icey
you look like such a cute little girl I think any other avatar you would have would not be as appealing

[FatherTimejr]

I do understand Jezabel, I hope I didn't offend by what I said, but it is how I feel and I cant apologize for it, if its fair or not. For me, very overweight people dont attract me, I cant make my body feel something it doesn't.... as for friends, colleagues and so forth? I have no problems, as people, there's no problem, as a sexual mate...well I cant help but not feel that way.

The same way that I can understand women not being attracted to me for the extra weight I carry and I cant hold that against them either.

In the end though insults throne as in really skinny or really heavy make me sick and such, is incredibly insensitive and I don t condone that by any means. But i've also learned to take those opinions and feelings with a grain of salt.

Anyways in the end with anything ive written I mean no offense to anyone, my feelings on it are ones I fee I cant help, my body feels as it does and well -shrugs- its not like I can take a wrench to a screw in my brain and tighten it to fix things.

edit: and to Icy, I'm sorry you have to go through that and it blows, stigma one way or another is unfortunates, and its amazing how many people just let the opinions built on that stigma just GO with out any moment of pause of if it makes sense

But you are who you are, there will be the assholes out there and just treat them as a grain of sand on a beach, and the ones who are the good ones treat as a gorgeous shell or a piece of beach glass. -shrugs- This goes to jezabel too.

[MissConfused]

FathertimeJr do you think perhaps the body image you have of yourself is in your head?
I find a man sexy when he knows he is sexy and knows how to carry himself
A man trying to wear a pair of slacks several sizes too small looks like a fool
But a man who loves himself for himself and carries that with pride in his appearance and attitude is ALWAYS HOT!

[icey]

Iand to Icy, I'm sorry you have to go through that and it blows, stigma one way or another is unfortunates, .

thankyou, although it doesnt bother me personally it just bothers me that i have seen quite a few people hurt by those kind of comments and it makes me angry that people are so one-sided and blind sometimes.
i truly do feel bad for people who are mocked because of their body size and shape..whether they are big or small, its wrong, and something ive noticed on this thread...people are still dismissing it and saying oh but its worse cos ive seen more ''fat'' people get jeered at than thin! its not numbers that count, it's feelings!

to answer the original question this time i'll be totally honest instead of trying to be inoffensive...YES i am repelled by fat (not the people themselves which is a huge difference) ,i hate it and it scares the shit outta me...BUT before you all get on your high horses thats all i see in myself! my own fat! i have a phobia of it, and if it wasnt for the fact that people have been quite happy to post about skinny people bones being uncomfortable etc then no i wouldnt have posted.

[Veridical]

So I'm slightly late on the topic, but I like to think it's fashionable. ;D

I'm neither repelled nor attracted to any particular body type as far as weight goes. What I am attracted to is a man who carries himself with an air of pride, something that seems to be lacking in many people. If you feel good about you, and to hell with what everyone else thinks, that's what matters. According to most BMI charts, I am overweight, and to be in my BMI for my height, you would be able to count all my ribs and I'd look sick a lot. My bone structure does not allow for BMI to be accurate for me, so instead of worrying with pounds, I worry with inches. As the old saying goes, muscle weighs more than fat by double, and to be muscled, you have to be overweight, simply because of the density of the tissue for muscle.

I do not hold prejudice for anyone, be it weight, nationality, race, or anything of the such. Do I see myself sexually being with a very obese individual? I've done it once, and it wasn't horrible. But he did not have the stamina to keep up with me. Nor could I suck his cock without being at an odd angle. So I don't suppose an obese individual is right for me, simply due to the fact that I ran circles around the individual I was with, nothing against anyone else who is obese. It's a personal preference. I do not hold it against him, either, it was just something that simply could not be helped without him working out, and he refused to do it. -Sighs.-

My avatar cannot represent me as it's two men, however, I have numerous pictures of myself in my album. I'm not afraid to admit I need to lose inches. Nor am I afraid to do something about it. 40 crunches, 20 leg lifts, 10 girly push ups, 50 toe ups(if you don't know what this is I can offer you that information), 1 mile walk, and a multitude of DDR a day, has brought my -inches- under control, but I've gained weight due to muscle. At the end of the day, though...I don't do these things for other people. I do them for me, because it's what I -want- to do.

[FatherTimejr]

okay...ah well to a point it used to be, for a long time I said self-confidence issues that ive been breaking through by working on it on my own. And while im trying to lose weight thats merely for purposes of health, I like being a large man and I think of myself as a fairly handsome man, I like myself. I take pride in the clothing I wear, taking care of my hair and hygiene so on and so forth.

But at the same note I also understand that not everyone is the same, and their are people like you missconfused -smiles- who see things like that, and I love it. But I also know there are many who don't, which is fine. And I understand that, just as i'm not attracted to everyone woman I see or speak with I dont expect everyone to feel the same about me.

But I do agree that in whether I find someone attractive or not I think, now that you mention it, would be a lot of how they present themselves, and how they take care of themselves and appearance so on and so forth. An overweight woman who dresses herself like a woman half her size, i'm sorry, but will never work well with me. But yeah.

[MissConfused]

okay...ah well to a point it used to be, for a long time I said self-confidence issues that ive been breaking through by working on it on my own. And while im trying to lose weight thats merely for purposes of health, I like being a large man and I think of myself as a fairly handsome man, I like myself. I take pride in the clothing I wear, taking care of my hair and hygiene so on and so forth.

But at the same note I also understand that not everyone is the same, and their are people like you missconfused -smiles- who see things like that, and I love it. But I also know there are many who don't, which is fine. And I understand that, just as i'm not attracted to everyone woman I see or speak with I dont expect everyone to feel the same about me.

But I do agree that in whether I find someone attractive or not I think, now that you mention it, would be a lot of how they present themselves, and how they take care of themselves and appearance so on and so forth. An overweight woman who dresses herself like a woman half her size, i'm sorry, but will never work well with me. But yeah.

I have a suggestion that would work with me; lift weights until you become not only a big man but a powerful man but do not worry about how much you weigh
Women like me love to be overpowered by a large strong man
Find someone who thinks as I do

[FatherTimejr]

oh ive been working on that, unfortunately I have a bit of an issue as it stands that I need to seek out physical therapy for my ankle but my school schedule doesnt quite agree with that -wryly- So my working out has been put on hold. I think i'm going to get some hand held weights for at home.

As it stands im naturally fairly strong as is however.

[Laila]

Oh cominjg in so late! But I wanna put in my two cents as well:

I am overweight myself so that is probably my own little bias.

Do I feel repelled by 'fat' or 'skinny' people?
Repelled is such a strong word, really. I thought about this and for me its not just a question of weight but of proportion. I was at the swimming pool today (lol I may be fat but I do work out) and I saw a girl that I would guess has a healthy bmi but she had odd proportions, short legs, super narrow hips, quite a stomach in comparison to the rest of her body and wide shoulders. I would never call her fat but she just had boy proportions that don't turn me on.
On the other hand there was a girl weighing considerably more but with a nice bum, beautiful round breasts a little bit of stomach... nice curves and I thought she was really beautiful.

I have to say though that this only goes up to a certain amount of weight for me - mostly because I am someone who likes pretty faces. And at some point the face tends to suffer. What I really don't like is when overweight gives a person that sluggish look, when everything about them seems slow - movement, intellect etc.

Being 'fat' myself, I am pretty conscious of how my weight affects the impression I make on people. And I always had to work against that first impression. I dress smart, I wear heels, make-up, nice hair. I just try to make a point of not letting myself go and stay sharp. Lol sub-pride.

As to skinny people - its basically the same. I cannot say that I don't like it - I personally think Keira Knightely is one of the most beautiful women in the world. To be honest I do think she is too skinny but her face is just so damn beautiful.

It's the same in men. My Master is actually a bit too skinny for my taste - if I saw him like any man on the street. But well, I don't. I love him and he's the most handsome man to me.

Its all about face and eyes and charisma and how one thinks about themselves. Yes, that's a clichee but its so true. I may be fat but I am confident and I know I'm pretty anyway and when I go out with friends (all skinny and pretty) I never fail to attract at least one cute guy's attention...

Having said that I do want to loose weight. For myself and because I want my Master to be proud of me. Even if he says I'm beautiful, I want to feel worthy of him. And I want to stop feeling like I always have to fight the first impression and live up to my potential - health reasons play into it as well.

[jezabel]

"What I really don't like is when overweight gives a person that sluggish look, when everything about them seems slow - movement, intellect etc. "

And this is the type of prejudice im on about, just because im fat does NOT mean im stupid, i have a 2:1 degree in history, i have run my own business and im raising a child singlehanded, life is hectic at times but im more than capable of doing it, despite being fat.
weight does not have to be a disability, and yes i do feel strongly about this, just because im fat does not mean that a skinny person is better than me, theyre not, we r all equals in Gods eyes

[jezabel]

ok , sorry bout my rant, but as u may have guessed i feel very strongly about this issue, all my life ive been put down by people who were supposed to support me (my mothers way to motivate me to lose weight was to call me a fat cow and stupid bitch).

we r all different and we should all accept each other as we r, in an ideal world of course, but as we dont live in an ideal world i suppose i will just have to get used to it.

a few years ago it was fine to make homophobic jokes, now its not (thank God), hopefully, people will learn to adapt their views and will realsie that fat jokes r as insensitive, especially as more and more people become obese.

sorry again

[Laila]

"What I really don't like is when overweight gives a person that sluggish look, when everything about them seems slow - movement, intellect etc. "

And this is the type of prejudice im on about, just because im fat does NOT mean im stupid, i have a 2:1 degree in history, i have run my own business and im raising a child singlehanded, life is hectic at times but im more than capable of doing it, despite being fat.
weight does not have to be a disability, and yes i do feel strongly about this, just because im fat does not mean that a skinny person is better than me, theyre not, we r all equals in Gods eyes

Did you read my post? I never said an overweight person is stupid - ever. And I would never. I said I have a problem with it when overweight people let themselves go - intellectually and physically. Of course I have the same problem when skinny people do but when its overweight people I notice more because I AM, and I hate when this strengthens the prejudices, I know exist.

I am sorry if my post offended you but it certainly wasn't meant the way you seem to have picked it up.
I am fat myself, I am smart, too.

[jezabel]

I am sorry if my post offended you but it certainly wasn't meant the way you seem to have picked it up.
I am fat myself, I am smart, too.

no laila, i have to apologise, i read ur comment and saw red, and i apologise if anyone else was offended

[love2serve]

I am overweight and i suppose i give out a false impression by my avvie. However, i didnt see any on there that reflected me accurately. I always tell people if asked about my body shape, size that i am ample and certainly not skinny and surprisingly have never been ridiculed or turned away because of it - on the contrary usually guys on here say its nice for a girl to have meat on their bones. Of course that doesnt make me happy with my own body, i long to go back to the days before kids where i could turn guys heads when i walk in a room, but age is a worse enemy there than body size - lol. I am trying to do something about my size at the moment, slimming and walking alot, but that is mostly because i want to be as healthy as i can be, i owe that to my boys and husband, but having lost over 2stone since the summer, i realise that my all round happiness has improved by doing this. Dont really know how i got here in this thread, i have digressed im afraid, but as a kind of postscript to the original thread, i think personally a well covered, curvy and sexily dressed woman is infinately preferable to most men to a bag of bones who looks like she needs a good meal, thats what i have usually found anyway. Love the body you're in gals, and if you dont then change it!!