Are there any other atheists who, like me, are fed up with really gorgeous girls sending me Valentine cards and presents, and forcing their Christianity down my throat every 14th February? I feel really uncomfortable when such shameless acts of affection are openly displayed in the name of a depraved religion. It is an infringement of people's inalienable rights to oblige them to reject such unsought advances. I'll find love my own way.

As a citizen of GB & NI I am entitled to expect religious zealots such as these harlots not to approach me or anyone else who does not share their lustful attitudes. It's downright immoral, that's what it is!

Besides, with the price of cards and chocolates at this time of year, they must have more money than sense.