I made a very huge mistake but instead of asking any moderators to delete this thread, let it stay as a constant reminder to myself of the mistake I made.

I publicly apologize to everyone here and to the one I have affronted in this post for this was taken too far. I think I understand now what jeanne, Ozme and tessa meant by finding a confidant to talk to…to not unfold it all here and this is just what I did.
He…this dominant might or might not have made some mistakes, he might have been new BUT I judged him and ran his name down.
No excuses, no reasons acceptable.
This sort of behavior from me is completely unacceptable.
And yes, it is so very easy to apologize and move on, it is a lot harder to forgive oneself once the mistake is realized.
I wish everyone well.
echoes